Volkov is stupid part 2: Hammers and Emos

[Blood Wake]

Sean says:
hello General, how are you tonight?
Gen. Volkov says:
Purty good
Gen. Volkov says:
Yourself?
Sean says:
good good
Sean says:
me and Neo are going to kill emo kids with hammers
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Fun
Gen. Volkov says:
Can I join?
Sean says:
nope
Sean says:
lol
Gen. Volkov says:
(Except for PA)
Sean says:
yeah, if you have your own hammer
Sean says:
cause you can't have any of ours
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
I have plenty of hammers
Gen. Volkov says:
I have a sledgehammer
Sean says:
nope
Sean says:
lol
Sean says:
yeah, those work
Sean says:
but the thing is, how can you hide it in your shoe?
Gen. Volkov says:
I can't think of any hammer I can hide in my shoe...
Gen. Volkov says:
And why are we hiding the hammers anyway?
Sean says:
so that the people in the razor blade store don't see that we are going to kill the emos
Sean says:
cause then they'd lose all their business
Gen. Volkov says:
OH!
Gen. Volkov says:
I'll wear a trenchcoat then
Gen. Volkov says:
Works as camoflage too
Sean says:
ok, but its a long walk to the razor blade store and I don't have a car, and I'm not going to carry the sledge hammer for you if you get tired
Gen. Volkov says:
I have a car
Sean says:
I don't care
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
Neo has a car too
Sean says:
but we're using my car which doesn't exist, so have to walk
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Alright
Gen. Volkov says:
I'll carry the sledgehammer
Gen. Volkov says:
No prob
Sean says:
ok
Gen. Volkov says:
I'm big and strong
Gen. Volkov says:
*Flexes biceps*
Gen. Volkov says:
YAR!
Sean says:
you better be, cause we have a lot of emos to kill
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Sledgehammers only take one hit to kill
Gen. Volkov says:
I'll get less tired than you
Sean says:
I know it, but with how many emos there are you'll get tired of razing it over your head all the time
Sean says:
nope, cause you can kill in one hit with a normal hammer too
Sean says:
with either side too
Gen. Volkov says:
Naw, I swing it sideways, into their temple
Gen. Volkov says:
Knock them into each other
Sean says:
hmm... good idea, cause then when it keeps swinging after hitting the emo kid it could hit another one
Gen. Volkov says:
Kill em quicker
Gen. Volkov says:
Yup
Sean says:
thats brilliant
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
maybe I should tell Neo to get some sledgehammers
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Man I should tell Wolf bite this
Sean says:
nope
Sean says:
never
Sean says:
I don't want my dad to know I kill emos for fun
Sean says:
he'd tell me to have a better reason
Gen. Volkov says:
"Your son (Wake), Neo and I are going to kill emo kids with sledgehammers"
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
like they stole my lunch money or they killed my rats with hammers
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
HEY!!
Sean says:
thats how you killed 100 million rats in one hit, you smashed them all with a giant sledgehammer
Sean says:
you lance!!
Sean says:
I'll kill you!!!
Gen. Volkov says:
ROFL
Gen. Volkov says:
LMAO
Sean says:
you can't kill emos with me and Neo until you stop killing my rats with sledgehammers
Gen. Volkov says:
What about regular hammers?
Gen. Volkov says:
Or anvils?
Sean says:
nope!
Gen. Volkov says:
What if I drop anvils on them?
Sean says:
nope!
Sean says:
you're not going to
Sean says:
cause I have anti-anvil machines
Gen. Volkov says:
Well what about regular hammers?
Sean says:
but anyway, if you want to kill emos with me and Neo you must send me 100 million rats, we're in a clan now so its cool.
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
OK
Sean says:
ok, send me the rats and then you can kill emos with us
Sean says:
well... you don't have to send them right now, right now we must make some battle plans to kill emos
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Ok
Gen. Volkov says:
*Sends 1 rat*
Gen. Volkov says:
LOl
Sean says:
thats good enough for now
Sean says:
thank you
Sean says:
so anyway
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
at 2 AM tomorrow night we will go to the razor blade store
Gen. Volkov says:
In what city?
Sean says:
remember to bring your trenchcoat, sledgehammer and some back up hammers just in case
Sean says:
who cares!!!
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
we'll figure it out when we get there
Gen. Volkov says:
ROFL
Sean says:
we'll ask one of the emo kids before we kill him
Gen. Volkov says:
Ok, so trench, sledgehammer
Gen. Volkov says:
backup hammers
Gen. Volkov says:
Ask emo kid what city we are in
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Rr
Gen. Volkov says:
Rgr
Sean says:
now! once we get in and find out what city we're in, we'll ask the guy selling razor blades where the leader of the emo kids is at
Sean says:
then when we find out we'll try to kill all the emo kids that are in there before they kill themselves, cause if they kill themselves theres no point to any of this
Sean says:
once all the emos in the store are dead we'll go to wear the leader is and jump the fence, yes, there will be a fence, I don't know where he'll be or even what city, but we'll have to jump a fence.
Sean says:
once we find him we will go into a Final Fantasy style battle. when Neo's bar is full he'll leap and launch his hammers of doom. then my turn would be next cause you're the slowest, and I'll hit him with my hammer right in the temple
Gen. Volkov says:
But he still won't be dead because he's a boss and he's like that
Sean says:
then it will be his turn and he'll start cutting himself which will take two turns before he completly kills himself so we'll have to kill him before his next turn
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Why am I slowest?
Sean says:
then since we only have one turn each, you will summon Stewie from Family Guy, and he'll insult the emo kid and then we'll realize that that will make him kill himself faster and I won't get to have a turn before he dies so then Neo will waste his turn killing you in his anger instead of killing the emo kid and then the leader of the emos will die by himself and the game over song will come on
Gen. Volkov says:
lol
Gen. Volkov says:
ROFL
Sean says:
then when we reload the game we'll slap Neo around a bit and then do the battle perfectly.
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
and then everyone in the world will be happy

it kind of got stupid after that but eventually me and Neo introduced him to Holby's girlfriend, Lucy, and Neo decided to combine out names when they met, and since I didn't know Volkov's name it went like this:

N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
I am Jon
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
and that is sean
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
together we are
Sean says:
I am Sean
Gen. Volkov says:
*Nod*
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
Don-Sean
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
xDDDDDD
Sean says:
I call myself Sean beacuse thats what I was named
Gen. Volkov says:
ROFL
Gen. Volkov says:
LOl
Gen. Volkov says:
But on the forums you are Bloodwake
Sean says:
nope
Sean says:
you lie
Gen. Volkov says:
er Blood Wake
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
hahahahahahahahahah
Sean says:
da*n straight
Gen. Volkov says:
I misstyped
Sean says:
lol
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
the whole Don-Sean thing is going to be quoted somewhere
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
that was f*cking awesome
Sean says:
sure ya did
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Yeah
Sean says:
you're name starts with J, Jonny
Gen. Volkov says:
Don-Sean
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
yes
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
and his is dan
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
Dan + Jon + Sean
Sean says:
what?
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
=
Gen. Volkov says:
Or maybe the Wonder Triplets?
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
Don-Sean
Sean says:
I'm confused
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Gen. Volkov says:
Jon+Dan+Sean = Don-Sean
You try so hard to be alive says:
err... i'm lucy?
Sean says:
yeah, but Neo is Jon, not Dan
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
youre our damsel
Sean says:
oh wait
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
xD
Sean says:
Volkov
Gen. Volkov says:
I am DAN!@
Sean says:
ok, I gotcha
Sean says:
lol
Sean says:
ok, so we're don-sean
Gen. Volkov says:
LOL
Sean says:
ha, I'm the only one who gets a complete name
Gen. Volkov says:
Yes and Lucy is the damsel in a slight bit of uncomfortableness
Sean says:
uh huh
You try so hard to be alive says:
oh how much it pains me that i'm not involved in this co-name thing

[Neobaron]

Gen. Volkov says:
My real name is Dan
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
I am Jon
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
and that is sean
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
together we are
Gen. Volkov says:
*Nod*
Sean says:
I am Sean
N30b4r0n!1!11!!! says:
Don-Sean

---

Thats the second most awesome things ive ever said when not drunk.

The other has something to do with catholics.

[Blood Wake]

Neo loves that

[Gen. Volkov]

LOL. That does rock Neo.

But Sean is the stupid one, not I. He can't count.

[Holby]

I think I was at work while this was going on  :-o

[Neobaron]

Yesh... you and your stupid job.

[Aqualis]

Heh, I actually managed to follow most of that.

[Blood Wake]

stupid, Holby, because you were at work I had to talk to Volkov again, do you see what you're doing to me?

[Naltaca]

But then where does Lucy come into play?

[Gen. Volkov]

Lucy is Holby's lady love.

[Naltaca]

So that's what you ment by the whole g/f thing. I see...

But holby wasn't even in the story.

[Gen. Volkov]

No, he was at work. But Wake and Neo talk to Lucy when Holby is not there.

[Neobaron]

I actually talk to Lucy more now than I talk to Holby. 0.o

Trippy stuff.

[Naltaca]

Lol, funny funny Neo.

My theory is that while wielding the sledgehammer, Volkov will end up killing one of you, neo and sean, due to his lack of proficiency with a sledgehammer.

[Gen. Volkov]

But I have Weapon Proficiency: Sledgehammer! I took the feat. Had to sacrifice Combat Reflexes to do it too. Besides, I'm a part Melee build, so my BAB takes care of any non-proficencies anyway. 7th level geek 2nd level warrior. ROFL.