heart broken

[Peace Alliance]

Not looking for pity, please don't tell me how sorry you are. But over the summer the girl i love went to her camp. She tells me that after a few weeks she no longer missed me, and she no longer has feelings for me...

this is the first time i've ever felt this bad. Its literally like i'm living a nightmare. this year i was just going to hang out with her the whole time 'cause i don't have school... next summer i was going to travel europe with her... i really don't know what to do. i'm not sure how to handle this. I didn't want to make her feel bad about it, but then i really needed to talk to her about it so i've sent her a few e mails rambling on about how bad this is... i don't know. what am i supposed to do?

[wolf bite]

Most people at this time unconsciously try to manipulate the other person in their communication. However this backfires because it either pushes them away not wanting to deal with entrapment, or creates a new relationship based on other then the original values of the first relationship. I am not saying you are doing this, just saying to be careful on how your expression can be taken.

Next I say that more important then letting her know how you feel, is you knowing how she feels. Give her the wide opening that she can express herself without retribution. Then and only then can you find if there is hope for the relationship.

Lastly, by my count, there are 3.5 billion women in the world. I am not meaning to make light of the situation, only reminding you of the short time you have been on this earth and the many more people you will meet, maybe some you will like the company more then her.


Wolf Bite

[Peace Alliance]

I know from my experience as the breaker or past relationships how bad things can get when one person is trying to minipulate the other back together... i don't want to do that. but she just cut me loose like nothing, and we had so much between us. i just don't understand how she did it like that.

i think the worst thing is that i feel so awefull i feel like i want to puke, and the only person that could really comfert me would be her.

[alazar]

just discuss what she says is the problem and then if there is a possible solution solve it!


~Alazar

[Arguia Zsah]

Talk to her in person... tell her how you feel about her, and how much the relationship meant to you. Don't blame her for the break-up, don't show that you resent how she broke your heart... just give her some time and maybe she'll come back to you - but don't force her or it'll never happen.

[Peace Alliance]

thanks guys. you really helping me a lot here :)

[Sun Jian]

Everything Arguia is right... Don't talk to her online or anything about it, just in person. Wow man... I know how you feel. If you need anyone to talk to about it, I'm here, my aims is in my pro. Feel free...

Sun

[The Lady Shael]

Wow, talk about coincidences...I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. We both understood the reasons why, it just couldn't work out, because my mom hates him. But I'm feeling awful about it right now anyway. Urgh. But it's nothing compared to how Peace must be feeling...

[Barkclaw2]

Awwww. I'm so sorry, Peace! Reading your post actually brought tears to my eyes. =( I'm not all that into romance. But when I try to read a book, it forces it at me! It should warn you that there's romance in the book before you start reading it. Anyways, you should ask yourself if you don't really know why she broke up with you. Obviously, if you look at it, she broke up with you because she found she no longer felt anything for you. Which is reasonable. if you ask her to explain it further, she probably won't know what to tell you. All she knows is that she no longer feels anything for you. And she probably wants to stay with you, but the relashionship would be meaningless.

[Peace Alliance]

but that still leave you asking why.

its not like all of a sudden we became uncompadible. One day we were perfect for eachother, and the next i wasn't good enough? she'd rather be with nobody, then with me... ouch :(

[Arguia Zsah]

Give it time... just don't be obvious that you're waiting to see if she'll come around. I guess sometimes people just change though... maybe something happened to her? A bad experience or something?

[Barkclaw2]

It's okay, Peace. You'll get over it sometime of someday of someweek of somemonth of someyear of somenewmilleniumorthisonewhatever.

[alazar]

yeah, it is just like someone in the family or a friend that u knew VERY well or loved dies and u think your world is coming to an end but its not, so u should pick yourself up, hold your head high, and think about the good times......dont mourne over the bad ones, think about everything u did and then maybe u may even be able to find some mistakes which u can try to prevent for future relationships.



~Alazar :cry:

[Peace Alliance]

There were no bad times.

thats the thing about it.
Its been over a week, and from the conversations i've had i've somewhat figured out what happened.
According to her, over the summer she missed me a lot at first, and so she realised that when i go off to university (which would have been way over a year from then) she would be heart broken to have me go. And so, according to her, she "got over me". How she randomly got rid of any feelings she had for me is beyond me. She herself doesn't seem to want to explain it.
the fact that she decided to do that instead of just talking to me about it, and trying to work something out about it earlier is probably what i think 'caused the downfall. Had she spoken to me about it, we could have worked things out, but instead she spent all summer getting over me, so that she wouldn't have a broken heart. Then she came home and broke mine. You know, i've tried my hardest to blame this whole thing on something, or have something to direct my anger towards. but thats the hard part is that theres nothing.

so despite of the fact that every moment we shared together was amazing. Dispite the fact that i know her better then anyone and she's the only one who knows me at all. she claims to have no feelings for me anymore. Magically, she turned them off, and left me there alone.

the best way to describe how this feels is that its like when you're outside in the cold frigid air, and all of a sudden you feel the most warm and comforting breeze ever. Then, the breeze stops suddenly, and you're left there, hanging onto something thats gone.

[alazar]

holy, dude u ought to become a professional poetry writer lol


~Alazar