The Real Redwall story

[Bladetail the Ferret]

 The wind whipped by as king Kilkenne and Queen Shael sat looking out at the mass forces from below start preparing for battle. " You know I have to fight the evil that has come upon Mossflower!" The two ferrets just looked at each other for what seemed like forever. Then a knock came upon the bed chamber door "Enter'' said Kilk roughly as he looked up from staring upon his wife. A strong ferret named Blood Wake came in " The forces are ready my lord. We will give it all we got to protect you mylady."Are the archers at their posts?'' asked Kilk
 "Yes my Lord, and are awaiting your orders"
 Tell them that this is the day we rid the land of the Juska clan. If they die they died with honor and pride and if we lose then lets give 'em such a good fight that they write a song about it."
Let's show them that ferrets that are trained to fight, fight like heros!''
    Goodbye Shael said Kilk kindly as he hugged his wife
"Goodbye" said Lady Shael throughtears that streamed down her cheeks.

"Excuse me my Lord" said Blood Wake we need to-

Be quiet scum or I will make you hurry out that window!"

 Shael laughed openly through her tears like a nauhty dibbun"hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Shael laughed Kilk said one last good bye and left the room like a lightning bolt. Blood Wake followed in suit just like his master.


"Where is my Sword Bow and arrows and my throwing dirk?"

" In the battle room."

" I will gladly go and get them"said Badrang the Tyrant

" Permission excepted" answerd Kilk





   After Badrang had gotton the weapons and armour.....

 "Thank you Badrang"said the ferret lord cheerfully
Let us go and win us a battle, tell the archers to volley until they have no arrows. When the enimie starts to get in range let loose the boulders on the hill side, as they get struck dum at there stupidity loose the slingstones!" Go captain hurry!" Sir all arrows are gone!"said a ferret archer
 "How many do you think we brought down?''
" My estimate is six score sir"
" That is pretty good, are they starting to charge?"
" Yes sir they are about 100 yards away!"
" Tell your slodiers that when they get in sling stone range that half of them start pushing those boulders down the hillside. As soon as they do that and the enemie is in shock tell them too let loose the slingstones and all other groups arrows.

" Yes sir!"



  10 minutes later......


" They have done that sir what next?"
"Did you reinforce the archers and slingers?"
" Yes Sir!"
" Well now have all the crews pike,lance,and spears in the front line.Tell them to charge as they  never have before and and then have javelin throwers throw over their heads. As archers and sling stones loose everything they got if it is succsessful the enemie will run like the wind to get out of here.

'' Yes sire''

 

      1 hour later.....


" The majority ran but there are still fighters what do we do?"
"Get my best saber soldiers and rally them to me!"
"Yes sire"



     20 minutes later.....


All right I am going to lead the charge and you will do smart to follow exatly where i go."
There was a roar of war cries as the band burst in to the enemie fighters.
clang ting slash aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh death to you.
It was like a blur to to Kilk as he brought down any soldier in his path. Just then a wave of pain hit him. As he went down among enemie soldiers. It became hazy then he blacked out.





                  1 Day After The Fight


   "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Where are those evil things I will cut them to bits I will!" startled Lady Shael woke to see her husband looking out the window. " Then he heard his wife say you won the battle I... We did????
"Yes you did"said Lady Shael I thought you were going to die when i heard a vermin had ran you through with his knife!"
"Then she started to crie with joy thank the sword in your paw that you came back to me. Then they hugged and looked out the bed chamber window again.


                             THE END

 I know this storie sucks!

[Bladetail the Ferret]

 people may reply don'cha know to let me know if they like it???

[Kilkenne]

 ...Awful...

Not to be mean or anything, but it lacks cohesion, a worthwhile plot, aspects of any character that is in it, and furthermore the grammar made me gag.

[Myrhakel]

 That was blunt. But yes... it needs some serious editing. Run it through a spellcheck.  

[RazorClaw]

 Yeesh, I'm just sarcastic... Well, Mr. Jacques will have a run for his money with these young talents on the loose...

[Morzan]

 Bladetail, if you wish, I could help you out. My aim is Catfoodmade4dogs if you want to talk. Kilk is a nice guy, but he is right. I can give you some pointers, I used to write stories about the game myself, though they were a tad longer. Don't listen to Razorclaw, but Kilk is right. We can work on it though, just aim me or PM me if you want some pointers.  

[RazorClaw]

 Like anybody does anyway...

[DemonSlavers]

 ah it was alright.But Anyways it gave me a good read ::agrees::  

[Guthorm Swordmaster]

 it's way better than anything i've done Bladetail i personnaly think its great apart from the odd grammar mistake.

[Bladetail the Ferret]

 What odd grammar mistake???

[Veranor]

What odd grammar mistake???

I think he meant "odd" as in "infrequent" not "strange"

[Guthorm Swordmaster]

 Yep Veranor sussed it sorry if you dont understand me but i live in the uk

[DemonSlavers]

 If you have microsoft word, just copt your story then paste it on the document and it'll tell you alll your mistakes...

[Arguia Zsah]

 *sulks* it didn't have me in!!! *offended*