Last Word

[Gen. Volkov]

I leave for just a moment and... Bah... In other news, those are some bombs. *sends the incoming nukes into the distant past where they are instantly destroyed by the heat and pressure. Disable one with an EMI pulse, and studies it to gain the knowledge of this super bomb that is apparently capable of destroying planets.*

*Borrows Faerds RDG to to turn bjorn's time displacement gun into a time acceleration gun, so instead of transporting the nuke to the distant past, he accelerates the time in which it takes the nukes to get to earth, and they reach earth and detonate faster than the nerve conduction velocity of bjorn's nervous system, thus making it impossible for him to even realize the change has occurred. He's still thinking he's saved the earth when the nuclear fireball vaporizes him* (BTW, I'm not using a superbomb, I'm just using a lot of them. The world's nuclear arsenal contains enough destructive power to remove the planets crust a couple times over)

Wait, I don't do any of that, bjorn, your dead. You died in on airless chunk of rock once called earth. You don't displace my missiles, you're off in the future, being dead, so there's no need. But if you do somehow figure out a way to survive that future, and come back to try and stop my missiles, that is what I do.

Just for that...
*Jams all comm frequencies to mars with viola concerti*

*Listens to the music as his inertial navigation system directs him safely to Mars, until firey nuclear death cuts the jamming short* You don't think I'm so dumb I wouldn't have a backup system?

That's kind of pointless also, but that's what I do, contingent on bjorn figuring out a way to return from his death in the future.

*Thanks Redtail for saving him from the nuclear holocaust and asks for a truce while they take care of volkov. Watches as Volkovs ships wander around without communications, miss mars by a good 18 degrees and fly off aimlessly into deep space with a barrage of thermonuclear missiles based on the planet busters after him, missiles so powerful that when they explode in space they defy the laws of physics and actually make a sound*

*Watches planet get engulfed in nuclear holocaust*

Either way, this happens though.

Well, I'll simply move the killer bunnies out of the way. Even if they cannot die, they do not have a long range attack. Let alone one that can strike across time!
*Temporally displaces displaces the bunnies to a nice green pasture in medieval Europe*

Nope, your dead. In two different ways.

[bjornredtail]

Bloody Temporal paradox! But, you forget that in weasel form, the Redtail is resistant to heat and radiation. So, yes, I survived... Now I shall eliminate those missile platforms from the timeline.
*travels back in time to assassinate all theoretical physicists working on the Manhattan project *
*time machine dissapears*
Crud... I thought I had this thing temporally insulated. Only problem is I may have messed with history in a few unfortunate ways. That and the good recordings of Elgar and Dvorak haven't been made yet.
*WW II ends with strategic bombing of Japanese targets, then WWIII begins with the soviet advance into western Europe and Japan. Rostropovich is drafted, dies in service to the Red Army. In an ironic twist of fate his actions prevent Jackie from being born, thus, the good recordings of Elgar and Dvorak are never made... That and the cold war is a lot hotter than in the last history..*
Crud... So, how do I get us out of this mess?

(PS/OOC: I did practice tonight, so I don't fell bad about mentioning dead big name soloists or major concertos. Thank you... )

[pippin the mighty]

This is getting wierd,

Shame i like wierd

[Shadow]

At the moment Bjorn accelerated time, the universe is split in two. In one, Shadow dies and in the other he lives. The living one creates and patents a temporal displacement device filled with unbeatable volkov traps and goes back in time to the other universe to warn his dead self about his fate before he actually dies.

In deep space in both universes, Volkov gets plasmacised (it's a word now!) by the planet buster.

Shadow generally wins because he is just that much more awesome than everyone else.

[Arguia Zsah]

Mas servesas por favor

More beer please
(spanish: classmate said to spanish teacher as a joke)

Cervezas. Not servesas.

[pippin the mighty]

Lol, you like correcting things

[Arguia Zsah]

Lol, you like correcting things

You guys are just rubbish at languages ;)

-laughs-

[kell]

mmm nobody translated my bit *tear

[Shadow]

qu'est-ca que ca dit?

[Arguia Zsah]

qu'est-ca que ca dit?

Ich spreche nicht Französisch.

[pippin the mighty]

Jemapple pippin, lol

I had to translate a whole french letter into english, and we had 10 minutes, i got half done and got 3/12 right, I SUCK

[Shadow]

tu trouveras que ca va mieux si tu commence a pratiquer dehors de l'école

[bjornredtail]

Aww... Crud, you are going to leave me in this bleak, if nuclear free, alternate time line! There's got to be a way out of this... Wait, I know. I can build a time machine... With the technology of this day it's going to have to be massive, but... it should get me out of here.
*sets up the giant time machine in Idaho, travels back to prevent himself from fracturing the time line, then escapes to the void.*

[Shadow]

*Temporally displaces himself to stop bjorn not splitting the timelines. The triple paradox causes ruptures in the space-time continuum that swallow the void whole. And since he is feeling generous, Shadow gives Bjorn 3 uses of the temporal displacement machine*

[Shadow]

Anyone here play Tribal Wars? A friend sent me a link. It is kind of like a cross between RWL and AoE, only with several thousand players.