The truth about Canada

[The Emperor]

I think that the United States could easily invade Canada, and it would help a lot with all that land.  First step in taking over the world, ya know. XD

There's a reason the continent is called "North America" and not "North Canada".

HAHAHAHA, that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard! Man, who writes this .... Does that mean "South America" has anything to do with the States too? :lol:

ANYWAYZ, check the history. Canada has been much better in wars and fighting all in the past. The War of 1812, Canada kicked U.S. ..., WW1 and WW2, Canada was involved from the start.

Heh, the U.S. is lucky they won the War of Independence (Britain was ending the Napeolonic war at the time)

Man, Canada KICKS American ...

[Nohcnonk]

 O_____O  WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!! :ph34r: :blink: :unsure:

The Americans could whoop on Canada. Rofl! :lol:  

[Aqualis]

 That was funny.

Canada's got nothing on the U.S.A.

[Wolf Snare]

 Being a Canadian, I am slightly offended by this, but I am actually finding it quite funny. THIS is the way I see things... (no offence to the americans out there, only a Joke)


CaNaDa

Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian...
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He
inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look
Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet,"
replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's
going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still
confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example,
Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while
Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a
hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there
is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be
very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in
the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's
Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains,
lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada
are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be
found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and
high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and
carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice
hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait
until you see the loud-mouth :EDIT:(censored):EDIT: I'm putting next to them...."

haha, I'm just playing, I got a laugh out of it though...

[Juby (Tercios)]

 you could easily occupy us, but you couldn't possibly keep your eyes on us, like you said were just so huge, theirs everywhere to hide.  It would be an insane guerrilla war, cause their are plenty of weapons in Canada, we just are more open to the concept of registration and are very agianst to carrying them or having them in cars and such.  you could probably take every major city in a matter of days but think of the problems your having in Iraq, Canada has more people then Iraq, way more space to hide, plenty of weapons, plenty of money to get better weapons, very educated population thus making us more resourceful and clever, able to create more powerful weapons then just a big pile of dynamite or a molotov cocktail, we could easily get into the US over such a long border and commit terrorist attacks in response to an evil and unjustified invasion.  On Top of that, most of the world gave you the finger when you took down an evil dictator, imagine what would happen if you invaded one of the greatest and most peaceful nations in the world.  Plain and simply, give us a few years and you'd be runnin for your lives back to the states.
edit: THAT"S HILARIOUS WOLF SNARE, now that is a joke in god taste  :lol:  

[IFman]

 

can't we all just get along?

*knows what will happen next*

[~>John<~]

HAHAHAHA, that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard! Man, who writes this .... Does that mean "South America" has anything to do with the States too? :lol:

ANYWAYZ, check the history. Canada has been much better in wars and fighting all in the past. The War of 1812, Canada kicked U.S. ..., WW1 and WW2, Canada was involved from the start.

Heh, the U.S. is lucky they won the War of Independence (Britain was ending the Napeolonic war at the time)

Man, Canada KICKS American ...

WHOOOOHAHAHAHAHA,

We won the war of 1812. We won both WWI and WWII where our allies would have lost without us

[Juby (Tercios)]

 how did you win the war of 1812, you didn't gain any land, you couldn't, and win the british finished up with Napoleon they came over and smacked the heck out of you.
And you wussied out of both WWI and WWII till half way through...

[Kueller]

 ACTUALLY, the war of 1812 ended in a treaty, peoples. However, the Americans effecively beat the Brits, as the British had a superior navy and evrything, and et they still had to resort to a treaty. And America DID gain some land in the treaty. Emperor, I'm doing my best to interprit your post so that it doesn't sound like you're an idiot... *fails* Canada's military is quite inferior to America's, Canada would have lost WWI and WWII if it weren't for us, and there was no "luck" about the war of independance. The idiotic peoples fighting us stood there in a nice line in their target-uniforms, while we killed them.  :P  :P  :P  :P  :P  :P  

[General Austin]

 Note about Revolution:
Actually, the British had Jagers (German Mercenaries) who were better woodsmen than even the best American sniper at the time. Britain lost mainly because they were horribly under-supplied. At no one time were there any more than 50,000 troops in the entire continent of America to guard a rebellious population and an area of like, what? 3,000,000 square miles? The Royal Forces didn't stand a chance against the Colonies after about 3 years into the war. There was simply too much space to guard, as America would also find out if it ever attempted an invasion of Canada.

I highly doubt, however, the probability of rebellions like there are in Iraq. Iraqis are united by Religion (Islam, which can be, and usually is, a highly militant beleif), whereas Canadians are not. The only unifying thing they have is their country, and even that is quite a shaky thing to fight for in Canada, there being so many different political parties with radically different beleifs. Isn't there even a separatist movement in Quebec or something?

The War of 1812?
HA! It ended in a stalemate (Like Kueller said), and besides, Canada was just a colony of the British Crown in those days. That's like Australia feeling all high and mighty over France because they "kicked France's behind in the Napoeleonic Wars". Do you not see the ridiculousness of the situation?

Jube, Emperor, JUST because you were involved in WWII from the start doesn't mean you can claim that you're better at fighting wars than the Americans are. If you take a look at the satistics, I think (I don't know) that the Americans spent, lost, and gained MUCH more than the Canadians in WWII, if not both wars.

And I think you shouldn't be jabbing at us for "wussying" out of the two world wars, Juby. After all, do you not dislike us as well for waging war against a ruthless dictator in Iraq? What do you want America to be, pacifists or war-wagers?


EDIT:

Heh, the U.S. is lucky they won the War of Independence (Britain was ending the Napeolonic war at the time)

The Napoleonic Wars was from about 1796 to 1814, almost 25 years AFTER the Revolutionary War. Sure, things were tense between England and France, but no war broke out until the Revolution.

[Juby (Tercios)]

 uhhh Kueller, basically every war ends in a treaty, world war I, treaty of versailles? remember that?  The Americans were the agressors in the War of 1812, were unable to successfully take Canada, then the british came and pounded the snot out of them, forced them to the negotiating table, and when it was clear that America was going to have to pay for their agression, the americans started to yell status quo ante bellum, which mean let's go back to the way it was before the war, the british tired and hurting at the bank from all these wars agreed, check your history kueller.
We could just as easily say that you would not have won in the pacific theatre of world War II without the british intellegence macarthur used and being able to base out of nearby austrailia, and in the European theatre, people were revolting in some areas (yugoslavia would succesfully unoccupy itself without needing to be liberated by the red army like the rest of eastern Europe and the Red army was gaining momentum after germans failed to take moscow, stalingrad and leningrad in 1943/4.  and The english had won the war for aerial supremecy a little earlier in the war on their own and plans were being setup.  I don't deny America's contribution, we could have lost without your help but it's not a rescue situation, you can't take all the credit for a war because your support put us over the top, If Britian and her commonwealth didn't declare war when poland was invaded america would have lost too if they still joined in 1941, it's a mute point, you taking all the credit for a war you didn't join in till 2 years in sullies and tarnishes the memories of all those who died making sure that the war was not over by 1941, that's taking all respect from those that contributed more to war from it's outset.  As for World War I, in 1917 when America joined, the tide had already started turning, oddly enough by Canadians, General McCurries storming of Vimy Ridge and the use of Canadian forces as Crack troops was proving amazingly successful and it got to the point were the Germans moral would drop signifacantly if they knew they were fighting the Canadians. America just sped up the resolve of World War I.

[Juby (Tercios)]

 sorry bout double posting but just say general Austins comments:
In Iraq, I don't believe war was necessary, In World War II (not so much WWI) war was definatly necessary, Nazi Germany (notice I say Nazi Germany and not germany germany, don't act like I'm talking about germans as a people or equating germans with nazi's cause that's why I made sure to put Nazi Germany) had to be stopped because they were going for world domination and were commiting genocide against jews, slavs, roma (gypsies) etc..
As for Canada getting invaded, you act as though religious fervour is the only thing that can lead to guerrilla warfare which is dead wrong, the Quebecois would fight even harder then the rest of us because the Quebecois culture would not survive in the american system, america refuses to make biligingual services for hispanic people who are more numerous then the Quebecois would be if in America, you just ignored all my other points on guerrila war strenghts and said were right cause your not religious enough, which is not a good enough arguement.

[~>John<~]

 HAHAHAHA!

Ok

It was Britain. They were fighting on British soil. Yea. Not Canadian

We would of had controll Canada anyways without that traitor Benedict Arnold

Note that it was British evidence, not Canadian.

Also, a comment you made makes think that Albertans are the smart ones then?

You WOULD have lost without our help, not could.
We don't "sullie" them, it just took that long to get the paciifists to realize [from pearl harbor] why we needed to go in

[The Emperor]

 Dam...I knew this would make me sound dumb. I wasn't quite finished my post, and I had to go, so I posted the half of it anywayz. So here's the rest:

Basically, I summed up that Canada has had a better miltary history than the States in major wars. However, Canada has decided that peacekeeping would do more good for the world than a miltary. We rely on the States, and that's one of the reasons we can get away without a huge miltary. Of course Canada can get easily taken over by the U.S., I NEVER said they couldn't (you guys enjoy putting words in my mouth). In fact, if the U.S. invaded Canada, I don't think ther would be much resistance. HOWEVER, IF the U.S. DARED to invade Canada, the rest of the world wouldn't just ignore it. The U.N. would not stand for it, Britain would be involved, and many other countries. I don't think the U.S. would dare touch Canada...they would have no reason other than "they want their resources." That would not go over well. As you can see, this whole "joke" is exactly that. I say, give it a rest war hawks!

On a side note, the War of 1812 was started completely by the Americans. You should re-check your history. You may even find the reason, which can be summed up by the word "manifest destiny." We kicked your ... and burned down the White House

Even if they were British, they were still on Canadian soil fighting for Canada (wasn't its own country at the time, but my point is the battle was not in Britain).

[~>John<~]

 Three expectant fathers, an American, a Jamaican, and a Canadian, were in the hospital waiting room. A doctor comes in and announces that he has some good news and some bad news, "The good news is that you each are the father of a healthy baby boy. The bad news is that we've mixed them up." The three new fathers walk into the nursery. The American guy goes right to the Jamaican baby, picks him up and starts rocking him. "What are you doing?" the Jamaican guy asks, "That is obviously my son."

"I know," said the American guy, "but I didn't want to accidentally get the Canadian kid."


An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists.

The terrorist leader said: "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about."

The Englishman replied: "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."

The Canadian replied: "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."

The American replied: "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."




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Newfoundland's Worst Air Disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Newfoundland.

Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening