ACK! I need help with my writing!

[Peace Alliance]

 OK, i'm going to paste my original story, witch you might have read before. then i'm going to paste my sequal... I'm having problems with it, first i can't seem to be able to get things flowing. in the first one stuf happens quickly and it all seems to flow right past, but in the second one its dry. its bugging me mostly 'cause its boring and it looks like its going to end up being a novel. i don't want a novel! that takes too long to write!

Series: L'Ifnar
Part I
The Dangers of L'Ifnar
By: Peace Alliance (<--thats sposed to be my real name)

At the time I was oblivious to the perils that lay ahead. I left in a hurry, eager to reach L?ifnar to see Tin?ja. Tin?ja was an old friend; we had been friends since childhood. Like myself, Tin?ja was a warrior. But one of a different kind: she was a knight of L?ifnar?s army, an army created to defend the great Elven city of L?ifnar, and I was a Night Elf. I was trained to fight at night; my senses were much keener than hers. I was not raised in L?ifnar like Tin?ja; night elves lived in the woods and were spiritually involved with the spirits of the forest.
   I climbed down from the tree, in which I was resting in, without stealth or agility, for I was tired. At the same time I felt no need to be stealthy, there were no dangers in L?ifnar?s forests, which was fortunate for me because although I was trained to be a stealthy and efficient killer, I never have, and never want to. I found my path and continued on my journey towards L?ifnar. By the time sunlight began shining through the trees I was not but a days walk from my friend. That?s when it happened; I stooped for a rest at a small creek. I was gathering apples when I heard a noise, a big noise. Something was coming closer fast. Quickly I leapt into a tree, hiding myself from any danger. As I waited there, I watched for what was causing all the commotion. I should have left now, but I was too curious. The noise suddenly got louder. It was like a screeching howl from a giant beast. Sure enough when it came into view, it was giant. As a matter of fact, it was a giant! I leapt from the tree fearing the worst. I worried of an attack; the giants laid waste to so many of my villages I feared them more than anything! Landing on another tree I continued to flee. There were more giants all running in the same direction. I?d never seen anything like it, so many giants running so fast. I swung around a small oak and unexpectedly slammed directly into what I though was a giant. I drew my jade sword intending to, for the first time in my life, fight to the death as I was trained, but once I turned to face my opponent I was much to startled to correct my attack stance. What lay in front of me was no giant it was an Orc! Orcs had not been seen since the Great War of NinUin, they were told to have been driven off the face of the earth. But what stood in front of me, green and huge, was certainly an orc. Suddenly, I regained my courage. In a single motion I was in front of him, digging my sword into where I hoped was his heart. Orcs wore no armor but had skin so thick that my sword didn?t go through. Without time to react I was thrown on the ground, the orc wielding a mace twice as large as I am. I shot back up and dodged his next blow. During his recoil, I had time to gain the upper hand. I found myself moving on pure instinct. Before I knew what I was doing, I was in the air. While coming down on the beast there was a split second of hesitation, for out of the corner of my eye, came another being. This one was a giant, larger than most. I landed on the Orc and sank my sword into his neck by using all the strength I could gather. At the same time the giant collided with him. I was hurled into a tree where a branch pierced my shoulder. I lay there, listening to the loud noises of orcs and giants running through the bush, murdering each other. I wondered if the orc was dead. And if so, did I kill him. Killing didn?t feel good, I was told a warrior would get used to it after a while.
After what seemed like eternity, I felt safe enough to move. I tended to my wound, but with little success to stop the bleeding.
   Evening came at about the same time as silence. I decided it would be best to travel to L?ifnar now as opposed to in the daytime. My shirt was drenched with blood; the pain was nearly unbearable. It wasn?t long before I started stumbling instead of walking; I hadn?t slept for days. I ate the last of my apples and drank the stale water. The last thing I could remember seeing was the outline of L?ifnar?s great walls. After that I must have passed out because I woke in the care of the L?ifnar.
?Tok, we found you on the outside, you must have been in the middle of it!? Said a worried friend Tin?ja. I had a hard time getting up but I found I was in much better condition than I thought I was.
?Indeed I was, but I escaped.? I replied. I than got up to reflect on my damage.
?How could you escape that, there were hundreds of them. They?ve almost destroyed our walls, if they get into the city we will surely perish!? she sounded scared and weary.
?They?re attacking L?ifnar?? I said in complete surprise. I looked out the window and saw the battle in the distance.
?This is bad, real bad. How many orcs to you think there are? Weren?t they all killed in the Great War of NinUin?? I asked.
?No they were just in hiding. I? doubt we could ever kill them all.?
   That night Tin?ja and I went for a walk on the east side of L?ifnar. In a dark and wild garden that was protected by two walls. One wall was the exterior wall and the other was one that entered the city. During our silent stroll there seemed to be something wrong. Then it clicked. It was the silence itself that was wrong. What happened to the raging battle at the gates of L?ifnar? Did it die down in the night?
   As darkness grew the eeriness of the walk grew as well. We didn?t speak, that along was strange. But there was also something odd about Tin?ja. She was tense, worried, I tried to comfort her.
?If there?s a fight I will help you? I said hoping it mattered.
?Thanks, our city doesn?t stand a chance. They?re probably re-grouping now.? She replied revealing her true worried state.
   After that we returned to the hall where I was to stay in a spare room. From my window I could see the garden on the east side, but beyond that is what froze me. Hidden in the dark were hundreds, maybe thousands of orcs. Any minute now they would come out of hiding and attack. Why hadn?t anyone else seen them I thought before I could catch my breath and warn Tin?ja and for that matter all of L?ifnar.
?Tin?ja there?s a horde of orcs hidden behind the east barrier!? Call for help immediately!? It seemed before I had finished my sentence she was out the door along with hundreds of knights it happened too fast. But I couldn?t hold back either.
   I hurled on my thin armor that would surely not offer enough protection from the maces wielded by the orcs. Before I leapt out the widow I took a look at where I was landing. As I watched I saw Tin?ja running with a squad of nights. I realized now, that this would be a battle that even L?ifnar could not win. The horns rang in my ear, calling all friends and knights of L?ifnar to battle. From on top of the giant wall separating the garden from the city I could see the exterior wall, littered with knights fighting to keep it from falling. Failure came soon and the wall was destroyed, crumbled to the ground. Pillars of the great wall still stood and on the top of one I could see Tin?ja with a bow in her hand fighting off the orcs. I had no choice but to save her because the decision was not mine. Something inside of me compelled me to save her. It was as if it were out of my control.
I landed swiftly on the ground and stealthily crept to the nearest hiding place. From there I planned an attack. I started by jumping on the back of an orc digging my jade sword into his skull. Then turned in time to dodge a running giant, whom had a spear stuck in his head. I grabbed on to the spear and swung around to slit the beasts? throat, but as I did so, an orc clubbed the giant to the ground. I dived off the carcass and avoided a blow from the massive disfigured monster. I wasn?t so lucky though. The orc had me cornered. He lifted the mace over his head preparing to crush me like the ant I was to him, but just before he had a chance to seal my fate an arrow slid softly through his neck. It was Tin?ja?s of course. I then leapt on to the wall, dodging the maces of 3 more orcs. I realized now that I had just killed. It wasn?t pleasant, but I had no time to think about it. The green beasts were climbing the pillar, which held Tin?ja. Faster then ever I leapt under one orc who in turn stumbled over his own hooves.  I dodged a blow from another monster and fixed my eyes on the pillar. I climbed it faster than any orc. They were stumbling at the bottom stupidly. From there I prepared to rescue my friend Tin?ja. Friend? I found myself wondering. Was it only so? I would have to ponder life?s mysteries later. The battle was roaring and the inner wall leading into the city was at stake.
   Horns? Why did I hear horns? The question was short-lived, from the forest came the forest dwellers. The night elves, my people! They came in the hundreds. My mouth dropped, this was truly astounding. Then I felt a vibration. The enemy was battering the pillar we were on it was clear now our time had run out. As the pillar fell I could only think of one thing and as strange as it seemed, it was Tin?ja. But before we crashed to our death I had one last chance, a chance to save a life. I could save Tin?ja?s.
   The second last thing I remember doing was handing Tin?ja the end of my rope, the other end was secured to a garden. And as I watched her swing to safety onto a thick branch I felt relief, at least she was ok. The final thing I remember was thinking about the last 2 days and marveling at the dangers of L?ifnar.


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OK, that was the good one... err... i hope. Heres the one i just started:

Series: L'Ifnar
Part II
The Dangers of Mirk Canyon
By: (you know the drill)


I awoke. It wasn?t a sunny day, nor was it much of a cloudy day. It seemed to me that the eerie fog of war still lay upon the half ruined and once mighty city of L?Ifnar. I stumbled to my feet, It was still a little early, I had time to get ready before the captain would give me today?s orders. Getting ready was a simple task. Clean the dark green blood off my sward, clean the dark green blood off my shield and clean the dark green blood of my boots. The last few weeks have been a bloody battle with the orcs. After the inner wall fell, we managed to stay alive as the battle raged for days. The orcs took hold of a few of our buildings but soon all who were garrisoned inside were driven out with fire. We pushed them out of the city; they dispersed into groups to hide in the forest of L?Ifnar.

   I gathered my gear and headed to the captains tent. He would give me my orders for today. Yesterday was simple. I was to help the workers repair the east wall. But it won?t be so easy every day. Three days ago a party that was send out to locate/eradicate enemy orcs returned. All but one were killed. It was truly a dangerous place out there. Although I couldn?t find the remains of my departed friend Tok, I thank his spirit for what he did. Tok was my hero, he saved my life. I just wish I had another chance to see him, a chance to thank him for what he did.

   Captain Illnui looked very tired. He was no doubt up all night hearing reports of the findings in the forest, the locations of the orcs. Information was always coming in. The night elves, Tok?s people, were very good at sneaking about and locating the beasts. They?re stealthy ness has been a great asset to this war.
?Tin?ja, how are you this morning?? Illnui said without paying much attention to it.
?Fine, sir. I?m here for the morning orders.?
?Ah, yes. I have a special task for you this morning.? He looked up hoping to see an excited look on my face but seeing one of fear instead. ?You are to leave with a party? he said after much to long of a dramatic pause. ?The orcs are well hidden in the forest and it is our top priority that we locate them. This will not be a normal party however. You will be the protection for a team of night elves.? He finished while handing me a map. ?You will be the first party to venture into the Mirk canyon. We suspect many of the orcs are hidden there.? He never waited to see what my reaction was. Of course I was scared, but not just scared, I was confused.
?Why me, sir?? I stuttered
?You are the stealthiest person on our force, Tin?ja, simple as that. Now meet with the rest of your group just outside the main gates and depart before sundown. Good luck.?


I rushed to pack my things. I couldn?t take much; I had to be light and able to move easily.
After packing I was off. There were no goodbyes really. Tok was my only good friend and I didn?t even get to say goodbye to him. I sprinted down the front gate and waited impatiently as the guards opened the doors. It?s strange the way I was feeling. Normally I would be thinking through my plans, making sure I don?t miss something. But ever since Tok died I?ve have a hard tom concentrating.



   I awoke. Not to a calm sunny day that I would hope for, but to a searing pain and a pitch black room. I tried to move, receiving a shock of pain instead where the movement should have been. MY instincts told me the first thing I should do is get to a safe spot, then tend to my wounds, but where was safe? I couldn?t see my way around; I couldn?t even feel anything because of the pain. So instead I lay there, tried to think of what it was I was feeling. After an unknown amount of time went by, I concluded that everything was broken.
?The sneaky one is awake? grunted a beast from the shadows, followed by the grunt of another.
?What do we do then?? he said with a very stupid tone.
?I don?t know, we were told to watch him so lets watch him!? the other one roared with more anger then I would have expected.

?What is this place?? were my present thoughts. So to find out were I was I tried to think of were I have been? But I could think of nothing. I had no idea what had happened. In fact I couldn?t even remember my own name not to mention anything complicated like where I?ve been. So I lay there once again, awake and in a daze. Trying to think of anything, couldn?t I just remember something? But then I could? I remembered one thing and one thing only. Tin?ja.


The night elves were hard to keep up with. I ran heavily through the bush on narrow trails trying to keep up with them. They travelled quickly and quietly through the woods. Some would leap from branch to branch above us to keep a better look out for danger. We had left around noon and were planning on being within seeing distance of the Mirk canyon by the time the sun rose.

We land around us was a thick forest. Our elves used to petrol the forest trails, but now with the war they are only safe in party?s.


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See thats where i stopped... If you read all that congradulations 'cause it was all pretty darn boring. Any ideas? I think i'm just going to start all over with it, maybe go another direction, add some new charactors.

[Blackeyes]

 Maybe it's cause your running out of ideas.

[Peace Alliance]

 I think it was because i was thinking on too small of a scale. Look at the LOTR, in each part you can see a significantly large scale, everything gets bigger and bigger. so i've restarted with a new story that have a bigger... ness to it. lol

[Bravehart]

 Well, I can't really help you on your story, I didn't feel like reading it right now, but a little advice from one budding author to another: if you ever get writer's block, the quickest remedy I've discovered is to write a humourous skit, with Monty Python-like stupidity.  Take my Martini the Warrior skit for example, I wrote that when I had writer's block on a fanfic.

(If anyone should want to read Act 1 of Martini, PM me)

[Peace Alliance]

 when i get writers block i take a shower... but i rarely do because i plan the entire story out before i write it. then if i do a paragraph i dont like, i come back later and re-word it and stuff.

[Vargarth]

resurected so i can have 2 pages t of pure spam with my name

[Briar]

lies. I will foil your plans

[Vargarth]

no

[Briar]

yes

[Vargarth]

yes

[Briar]

thank you

[Vargarth]

you are the one to thank

[Briar]

awe you're kind

[Vargarth]

kind i am

[Briar]

Your bro should spam