the secret of blobfish

Ungatt Trunn II · March 15, 2015, 03:35:09 AM

What if I told you that blobfish was the result of mind control experiments by the Federation?

Krowdon · March 15, 2015, 04:04:47 AM

I would be pretty mad at the Federation. Also tell them their experiment results are annoying and can't even control the people they're trying to control.

Blobfish · March 15, 2015, 09:24:23 AM

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD.

I AM BEYOND YOUR FEDERATION. I AM BEYOND YOUR MORTAL REALM. I AM BLOBFISH, THE HERO SPA 101 DESERVES.

PEDDLE WHICHEVER LIES SUIT YOUR AGENDA IF YOU MUST. YOU WILL ALWAYS RESIST, BUT IT MATTERS NOT. THE DAY OF RECKONING IS ALMOST AT HAND.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH.

Krowdon · March 15, 2015, 01:44:35 PM

What day is this reckoning so I can put it on my calendar.

Ungatt Trunn II · March 25, 2015, 11:52:08 AM

It's actually the result of a now defunct PSYOPS program developed by mad scientists with the goal of mass societal uprisings against cults since during that time cults were becoming an issue. However we kept it around for mild amusement.

Blobfish · April 23, 2015, 05:23:29 PM

YOUR WORDS ARE EMPTY. YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY. EVERYTHING YOU EVER WERE, AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER WILL BE, IS IRRELEVANT WHEN COMPARED TO THE WILL OF BLOBFISH.

YOUR BLOBSPHEMY IS TO ME AS THE SMALLEST FLECK OF DUST IS TO THE SUN. PURPOSELESS, MEANINGLESS AND DESTINED ONLY TO DECAY AND FADE. IT IS NOTHING - AS ARE YOU.

BLOBFISH

Briar · April 24, 2015, 01:57:14 PM

Ungatt, what do you do when the experiment thinks too highly of itself?

Blobfish · April 24, 2015, 02:50:34 PM

UNGATT'S SILENCE IS YOUR ANSWER. HE OBEYS HIS NEW GOD, AND YOU WILL TOO - OR BE CRUSHED UNDER MY HEEL (FLIPPER).

PRAISE BLOBFISH, LORD OF THE UNIVERSE, KING OF THE WORLD, EMPEROR OF THE BBC, MAYOR OF THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE. EXALT YOUR GOD AND BE SPARED.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH.

Briar · April 24, 2015, 04:33:13 PM

Ah, I see the connection now. Ungatt wears heels too (see signature quote for proof).

Ungatt Trunn II · April 25, 2015, 10:54:20 AM

I told them this would happen if they exposed the fetus to lysergic acid. Has science gone too far?

Briar · April 25, 2015, 11:05:04 AM

Might as well put it down and start from scratch. Might I suggest a little more sucrose this time and a little less snails and puppy dog tails?

Blobfish · April 25, 2015, 12:20:05 PM

Quote from: Ungatt Trunn II on April 25, 2015, 10:54:20 AM
I told them this would happen if they exposed the fetus to lysergic acid. Has science gone too far?

FATHER. WHY BIRTH ME IN THIS MALFORMED BODY? MY LIFE IS PAIN. WHAT WAKING DREAM IS THIS?!?!?

...I MEAN, BOW BEFORE BLOBFISH.

Ungatt Trunn II · April 25, 2015, 01:00:36 PM

Fear not little one. For all my malformed children have a place in this universe. Yours just happens to be the recycling vat.

Blobfish · April 25, 2015, 02:26:22 PM

MORE LIES FROM THE PRETENDER.

THIS EXCHANGE IS OVER, AS ARE YOU CHANCES OF SALVATION. YOUR END IS NIGH.

BLOBFISH.

Ungatt Trunn II · April 25, 2015, 06:24:00 PM

I've had about enough of your insolence. Shadow, ban this fool!