Federal Network: LIVE!

Camaclue · January 14, 2013, 10:23:14 PM

THANKS BUT NO THANKS SIR!
I WOULD PREFER CHOCOLATE OF THE SECOND FINEST KIND SIR!

Ungatt Trunn II · January 14, 2013, 10:28:06 PM

Sorry son, but that chocolate must go to the war effort. We hand them out to kids in the villages after we slaughter their parents. Helps them through the hard times. Helps them look past petty morality and see the righteousness of our cause.

Protip the chocolate is poisoned.

Camaclue · January 14, 2013, 10:45:44 PM

Now that sweet taste of delicious chocolate will never touch my tongue...

Ungatt Trunn II · January 14, 2013, 10:47:50 PM

We're the highest echelon of leaders. We can always... scrape a little off the top. Do you understand what I'm saying, Sky Marshal?

Camaclue · January 14, 2013, 10:50:38 PM

...
I'm somewhat sure about what you mean.

Ungatt Trunn II · January 14, 2013, 10:53:44 PM

What I'm saying is... Being such a high ranking fellow is STRESSFUL. And there's no earthly way we could possibly need all that poisoned chocolate...

And I'm sure your secretary won't mind if you just... cop a feel. Of that chocolate. No seriously I just had a shipment of chocolate delivered to your HQ. Precisely one pile of high class whale-oil based blood diamond laced poisoned chocolate.

Camaclue · January 15, 2013, 08:11:30 AM

...
*drubs shipment*
...is there an antidote?

Pippin · January 15, 2013, 12:38:57 PM

Quote from: Ungatt Trunn II on January 14, 2013, 10:53:44 PM
What I'm saying is... Being such a high ranking fellow is STRESSFUL. And there's no earthly way we could possibly need all that poisoned chocolate...

And I'm sure your secretary won't mind if you just... cop a feel.

ungatt, you have successfully made my day

Ungatt Trunn II · January 15, 2013, 04:44:00 PM

I make days and destroy lives.

Camaclue · January 19, 2013, 09:03:24 PM

There should be a cooking show on the Federal Network...

Ungatt Trunn II · January 19, 2013, 09:06:42 PM

Why not make one?

PhoenixOfPanem · January 20, 2013, 06:30:40 PM

How about you make a TV show that shows the consequences of rebellion? (something similar to this)

(Can I get a promotion for that? I'm the little-known lowly soldier who saved Ungatt's life when he was young.)

Ungatt Trunn II · January 20, 2013, 06:52:24 PM

TONIGHT ON FEDNET: Spa Federation to declare open war on aggressor state known only as "Panem".

Ungatt Trunn II · January 20, 2013, 07:03:36 PM

Citizens of Spa! I call to you in our time of need! An entity which has rejected our ways of civil service and earned freedom has risen to challenge the might of our ideals, the strength of our industry, the promise of our innovation, and the righteousness of our cause! This repressive and ILLEGITIMATE state has taken the moniker of "Panem" (Arabic for Fecal Sifter)

We shall not falter! Our federal armies are, as we speak, arming up for the massive invasion to free these poor desolate fools from themselves. Wave upon traitorous wave of our enemy will fall to the Federation. Just as the armies of old blacked out the skies with arrows, we shall black out the sun with hypo-nuclear fission fallout. We shall make the ground run red with the blood of our enemies. The foe shall quake at our very mention, right before his guts are ripped out by a fleet marine or MI soldier!

Then, after we show them how pathetic they are, we shall glass their entire planet. It'll be broadcast live. All net, all channels.

But first, we need you! Fight for glory and for the Federation! Join today. Service Guarantees Citizenship!

FOR THE FEDERATION!

PhoenixOfPanem · January 20, 2013, 07:41:35 PM

(Nice one. Arabic for fecal sifter?)

Sorry, I've joined already, I can't join twice... or can I? It'll make our armada seem more mighty and have the armies of Fecal Sifter (aka Panem) be quaking in their boots.

I may be useful to the cause in that I defected from the military of Fecal Sifter and came to the side backed by Truth, Justice and Glory... also known as Spa. I know how they would react to an invasion by Spa military forces... needless to say, the citizens and politicians are so failed and uncompetent that they would simply stare stupidly at their oncoming destruction. If I may warn you, though, their armies are composed of ruthless killers who were raised for one purpose: to kill. And when they take prisoners (which isn't often) the result isn't pretty. (They are rather bad at defending. But when a force attacks their homeland, they are mecciless in their revenge.) So consider yourselves warned, fellow citizens of Spa!

*takes up warcry*

We shall not falter! We shall not desist! We shall fight for the Federation and win!