Federal Network: LIVE!

[Ungatt Trunn II]

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SKIP THIS BROADCAST?

HEADLINES

BREAKING NEWS: Widespread celebration erupts forum-wide, as the once absent United Spa Federation returns from a time warp and restores order. Presently, our brave men and women in uniform are working hard to assimilate the primitive tribes which have taken up residence in the derelict cities of Spa.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although the cost was great, the Federation has finally eradicated spammunism from all timelines past, present and future. Experts state that a new era of spam is to be expected, while we try to find a new enemy to blame for all our problems.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Commander is to announce a new chain of command tonight, live! Only on FedNet!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A RETURN TO ORDER
First: Confusion. Then: Pure joy.



Gone for, by our perspective, years. But to them only for a term of service. The Spa Federation, which was lost through what could only be called "pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo", has returned to spa.

Originally sent into the time warp as a special mission to destroy spammunism from existence, an erroneous calculation has launched the troopers forward in time. Realizing the horror of a spa without the Federation, they have decided to stay and restore order. "It was a decision that would literally be best for the Federation in the long run," mused General Rommler. "To go back would only mean that eventually we wouldn't exist at all anyways." The task force, dubbed the "Time Raiders" have faced harrowing battles in the warp. Some have been driven mad from being exposed to inter-dimensional forces.

"Our mission was successful, so we started to backtrack home. But then we somehow ended up in the future instead." Apparently, Federal scientists failed to account for the progression of time in the present, and how it would correlate with the Time Raiders' own journey. "But now we're here, and it seems the Commander is still alive. He has ordered us to stay and we are only too happy to comply." The Federal troops have been battling isolated groups of savage tribals in the once iconic cities of Spa, and plan to completely restore the cities and Spa. With their expertise in time travel, they have even sent requests for reinforcements to the past. This ensures the United Spa Federation a near endless amount of troops.

Many of the immortal race of Spammers still remember the Federation. And many were indeed enemies to it. But many have cast aside past differences to support unity in the currently harsh times of Spa. The Federation will be handing out supplies to the desolate villages, and eradicating bandits and raiders.

All are welcome to join our ranks! Spa needs you! The Federation needs you! Service guarantees citizenship!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETURN TO THE HEADLINES?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VICTORY OVER SPAMMUNISM
Spammunism. Once thought to be just a word used to scare small children for some reason. But no, it seems that they were once REAL. Thanks to the efforts of a certain galactic federation, spammunism has never existed! But how? Well if you payed any amount of attention to the other stories maybe you'd know you [wash my mouth out!!!] knave. The time traveling troopers of tomorrow have actually destroyed every instance of spammunism!



But what does this mean for you? It means that no longer will your freedoms be stolen by spammunists. No longer shall you fear working in a salt mine for 25 years before getting sent to a gulag because you cracked a joke about the commissar's wife. No longer will beets be literally the only thing for dinner. Freedom at last for all citizens in spa!

But back to the main point in case you are slightly retarded. Spammunism was once a very bad and prevalent thing. In fact, according to time projections it once RULED our time! But the "Time Raiders" killed them all. They went through time and killed spammunism. Now that's what I call dedication! -CELEBRATION IS MANDATORY. PLEASE STOP READING AND CELEBRATE FOR 15 SECONDS OR FACE THE FIRING SQUAD-

Now only time will tell what our next enemy shall be. Probably the sand people. [wash my mouth out!!!] the sand people.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETURN TO THE HEADLINES?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BLESSED ARE THE WARMONGERS
And now a talk from the Commander himself!


-RENDER SALUTE TO SCREEN NOW OR FACE THE FIRING SQUAD-

Good day. I am Commander Ungatt Trunn II, Esq.
I'm glad you could be here with me, as we all stride forward into an uncertain future, that is sure to bring only joy and fond memories. Also glory, as we eradicate those who fail to comply to the awe inspiring might of the Federation. But before we can TRULY take up arms and march onward to our destiny, we must have DELEGATED POWERS. My favorite thing ever is to delegate powers. Preferably in an easy-to-remember pyramid-esque method.

But I'm busy and have important duties to drink, so I'll make this quick. Sky Marshal is Camaclue. Prime Minister is Krowdon. You ALL take orders from them. More jobs are to be assigned at a later date, thank you.
-SACRIFICE VIRGIN TO THE COMMANDER NOW OR FACE THE FIRING SQUAD-
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETURN TO THE HEADLINES?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-END BROADCAST-

[Camaclue]

I'm Camaclue and I approve this message.

[Krowdon]

Oh good, the news is on.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

That was fun.

[Krowdon]

Pretty sweet.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

I love making huge posts and getting small responses. It's the motivation for everything I do.

[Krowdon]

I'll make a better response later.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Common sense dictates that you could have made a perfectly acceptable response in the time it took you to make those two separate sub-par responses.

[Camaclue]

I still approve that message.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Well that's good. Because you're the Sky Marshal now. Get to work.

[Camaclue]

I am okay with the turn of events.

[Durza]

Strange turn of events.  i can recall a time when Cam opposed Spa federation, and he is now sky marshal big change, big change

[Camaclue]

that was because I was an immature hatching. now I know.
AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE

[Pippin]

MY GAWD IS THAT NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Yes.

Yes it is.