Short jokes

[Krowdon]

Buy her a bed.

[Camaclue]

she already does.
we share it.

[Krowdon]

We need more jokes.

[Camaclue]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=really+funny+jokes

[Krowdon]

-______________-

[Dark Claws]

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"

Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

"Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."

"Whose clock is that?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bill's clock?" Hillary asked.

"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[Krowdon]

Haha. Thats awesome.

[Dark Claws]

got to love political jokes.

[Krowdon]

When you know what they're talking about.

[Dark Claws]

Things to do at the movies.

1. Throw popcorn around and yell, "It's snowing!!"

2. Laugh when the good guy dies

3. Start a conversation on your cell phone right when the movie starts

4. Point to the beginning credits and say, "That guy dies."

5. Order pizza halfway through the movie

6. Sit between couples

7. Nonchalantly eat popcorn from other people's containers

8. Announce loudly to everyone in the theater that you are going to the bathroom

9. Bring in your own food such as soup and SLURP loudly.

10. Wear tall hats to block other people's view

11. Walk in as if you are a big shot while wearing the most outrageous outfit; spandex should do the trick.

[Krowdon]

Those are rude things.

[Camaclue]

Michelangelo and a politician arrive at the pearly gates. St. Peter proclaims "He's here! He's here!" and ushers the politician inside as trumpets ound and angels sing. Michelangelo tries to follow, but the gates slam in his face. Shaken, he knocks. St. Peter appears. "I don't understand,' Michealangelo says. "I have served God all my life through my works, and I arrive here and am completely ignored in the midst of the tremendous welcome for, of all people, a politician!"
"I'm sorry,' says Peter, "We have many artists and religious people in heaven. But this is our first politician!"

[Krowdon]

*claps*

[Camaclue]

One day a doctor and his friend were wandering around london looking for a tube when

[Krowdon]

no.