BA Dad

[Ashyra Nightwing]

All I know is that I look around and I see much more well-rounded people than me who were also treated decently by their parents.

[Neobaron]

I am 99% positive managers are taught to praise and encourage staff, 'cos they're more likely to care about their job and work harder.

Unsarcastic curiousity:

How often does your boss come along and just tell you good job when you've done nothing but what you are supposed to do?

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also yeah - I'm not talking about showering the kid with gifts, I'm talking about a 'that's nice, that's going on the fridge' if a kid does a good piece of work/painting/whatever

Works for smaller children, but teenagers are different, no?

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I'm just curious as to how you expect these kids to know what 'the right thing' is?

Is it a question of them finding this out for themselves? i.e. you punch another kid = other kids don't want to hang out with you = you feel bad = punching that kid was a bad thing to do!

Kids have to be taught right from wrong. Things were explained to me in a way I could understand, and I would (inevitably) violate what I had been told and the "reward" was generally enough that I wouldn't do it again. Having to go fetch your own switch leaves a certain mental impact. I realize how horrible that sounds, but had I been given a cookie or a pat on the head for doing a good thing I would have come to expect a pat on the head or a cookie as I got older, and that is just not how reality works.

I can understand what you're saying though.

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All I know is that I look around and I see much more well-rounded people than me who were also treated decently by their parents.

And I see worse who were treated better. Maybe it has something to do with the way a child processes information.

This is looking like the second time we're going to have to agree to disagree in one day.

[Shadow]

There is a pretty thick line between too little praise, which produces maladjustments of its own, and too much praise, which produces spoiled brats.

[Peace Alliance]

lol, Neo, I never said not to discipline your kids. Where do you get that from? I said don't beat your kids, and don't solve your problems with guns.

Yes, you are supposed to be nice to you kids. yes, you are supposed to be their friend, guide, and loving parent. Love is what you need to show them, that's what people need when they become adults.

But you also need to teach them how to behave. That's done through positive rewards and goal setting. It's done by empowering the kid to make the right decisions, and also letting them fail on their own. One great example I saw a psychologist explain once was to get ask your kid (this was a 3 yr old) to make a goal, like to have a tea party. Then come back in an hour, and see if they've done it. If they did, you reward them. Not with materials, necessarily, but with respect. This is the approach you take with teaching people how to do things right (cognitive behavioral development in a nutshell).

@Ashy nop worries, you're normal

[Gen. Volkov]

That man is so American it hurts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

Best video I've seen in awhile. I lol'd IRL.

[Neobaron]

I think you and I are saying the same thing in regard to the positive side. No sunstantiated physical reward for doing a good thing, just a lack of a punishment.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Bring back the paddle in school you profligates!

[Peace Alliance]

I think you and I are saying the same thing in regard to the positive side. No sunstantiated physical reward for doing a good thing, just a lack of a punishment.

all too often we are saying the same thing in different words. It's actually kind of frightening.

[Neobaron]

I wouldn't go that far.

Not at all.

[Holby]

I am 99% positive managers are taught to praise and encourage staff, 'cos they're more likely to care about their job and work harder.

Unsarcastic curiousity:

How often does your boss come along and just tell you good job when you've done nothing but what you are supposed to do?

If I write a particularly good story, or a finished edit looks nice, my producers will say so. It's not like they're going out of their way to be nice, but by saying I've done something they like, it reinforces I'm doing the right things. They're everyday tasks I'm supposed to do, the act of doing them isn't outside of what is expected of me.

I suppose it depends on the workplace, but even when I worked in retail, there was always a lot more positivity than negativity.


EDIT

Also, I read this thread as BA° Dad.

[Rakefur]

That man is so American it hurts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E
Best video I've seen in awhile. I lol'd IRL.

I don't see what's so funny about it.

Some one was saying something about rewarding your child when he does something right. That has nothing to do with the conversation. Don't try to avoid the point.

[Neobaron]

Also, I read this thread as BA° Dad.

Same.

And actually shouldn't the thread title count as avoiding the censor?

[Rakefur]

BA stands for Barium. Like this:

It looks like the guy's beard. That's why I called him a BA dad. LOL. You guys. Always assuming the worst.  ::)

[Neobaron]

You're like pippin without the sense of humor.

Crazy.

[Rakefur]

I beg to  differ. I am not threatening you. And I do have a sense of humor.


:D