The Sable Quean Abridged

[Camaclue]

Book one: Travel is an adventure- until you get sick.
In the forest
Stoat: Wot sorta food is this for a random character? Stinky roots and turnips 'ard as a block!
Rat 1: Ya was supposed ta say rock, not block. Besides, I'll eat em' for you.
Stoat: *takes out dagger* Put yer gruby hands on meh vitals an' I'll gut yer vitals!
Rat 2: E's right. We needs some meat. Like fish. I likes fish.
Rat 1: Fish aint considered meat ya bloke.
Rat 2: Sharrap!
Stoat: Rat 2's right. We're Ravagers, not scavagers. Besides, why are we here?
Rat 1: Scavengers.
Rat 2: *clocks Rat 1* Sharrap!
Rat 1: Ow! Besides, we need to find young uns for Zwilt the Pedoshade.
Stoat: Young uns make good steak.
Rat 1: I'm not sure Zwilt would like that.
Stoat: Whatever. I'm not scared of Zwilt or the Sable Queen.
Rat 1: It's Quean. *gets clocked again* Ow! Besides, Zwilt wouldn't like you saying that. I heard e's magicks!
Stoat: Rubbish. What kinda magicks anyhow?
Rat 2: I heards he's a Planeswalker. He can come n' go as he pleases.
Stoat: Yer a Frogwife if ya believes in that. See this Dagger? I can make Zwilt vanish with it.
Zwilt: How can ya do that if your already fuched?
Stoat: OSHI- *gets pwned*
Zwilt: Those rats were right. I DO like little kids.
Stoat: What does that have anything to do wit-*deads*
Zwilt: Throw this isiot into the river. NOBEAST WILL EVER NOTICE IT!
Rats: *nod vigorously*
Zwilt: HAHAHA wait this is a kid's book. Oh well! HAHAHA!

[Kilkenne]

Let me have my way with the body, then throw it int the river. Okay?

Unfriendly advice: Stop now before you get yourself gagged. Rape jokes, even dead rape jokes are never funny.

[Camaclue]

Fix'd
Sheesh. besides, I even poked fun at that in the last line.
and I'll tone it down a bit.

[Dark Claws]

It is against the rules...
Good thing ya fixed it.

[Camaclue]

Meanwhile, back at the mountain
Brang: dialogue that describes the main character.
Flak: dialogue that explains how old you are
Brang: more pointless dialogue
Buckler: *pwns sum noobs* Tommy, don't hesitate ya noob.
Tommy: i hesitated because you got a nice long blade
Buckler: A very flexible blade that all the girls love. Btw use a rapier ya noob.
Tommy: Dunt call me a noob. it makes me sad.
Buckler: BOONIN' NOOB!
Tommy: )':
Buckler: LOL.
Brang: *beckons Buckler*
Buckler: *beckonsed* Wat do ya want?
Brang: I want you to stop calling everybeast a noob!
Buckler: But they ARE noobs!
Brang: come with me to the forgery.
Buckler: Sweet, now I can get prestige!
Diggs: Are you in the STEW again, Buck?
Buckler: ha ha, very funny.