Emperor Volkov

[Rakefur]

I just want to put all his emp messages here to make sure they aren't lost forever in my pms.

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:58:08 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

Butts.

LOL.

I hereby declare this the Day of Butts. All messages must contain the words "butts" and "lol" or they are not valid.

That is all.

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 23:54:01 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

The Day of Butts is now over. Rejoice, and be merry. Everyone who sent me a message containing the words butts and lol gets a billion cash.

I HAVE SPOKEN!

Your Emperor,

Gen. Volkov

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:00:38 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

I have decided this game is far too selfish. All warlords above rank 25 should immediately donate 1 bil cash and 100 mil food to a warlord below rank 25. Just think of the warm fuzzy feeling you will get for this random act of kindness.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:01:58 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

I have decided that because a Mormon more or less invented home video gaming, (Nolan Bushnell, the co-founder of Atari, was Mormon, he also invented Chuck E Cheese's) Mormons are awesome, and today is Mormon day. Since the only Latter Day Saint that I know of here at RWL is Briar, you should all send her a message saying how awesome she is for being Mormon.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:31:40 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

Today is join the forum day! If you do not have a Forum account, please sign up and make one. Then private message kilkenne and tell him to stop ruining the game, and that he is a jerkface. Tell him I said to do so.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 22:24:52 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

Today is traditionally the start of the Carnival period before Lent. So, it is TIME TO PARTY! Have a good time, and get hammered if you are legally able to drink. WOOOOOOO!

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:05:57 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,

Gatorade is delicious. You should all go buy some and drink it. NOW. Tell me how delicious it was when you do. I'll wait.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:21:26 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)

My dear subjects,

Wow, what acrimony has erupted over my last message to you all! Some of your believe Powerade is better, others Gatorade. While I stand by my statement that Gatorade is delicious, if you feel Powerade is better, go ahead and drink that if you must. Just know that you are missing out on the glory that is Gatorade. Due to the debate, Gatorade Day will last for another day.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:41:01 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)

My dear subjects,

I have just taken a shower, and I am enjoying that fresh, clean feeling you get from doing so. Everyone should go take a shower or have a bath as soon as you can, so you too can enjoy this fresh clean feeling. Especially if you do not often bath. I have my suspicions about many of you in that regard.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:57:39 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)

My dear subjects,

I have just bought a barely used slim PS2. I can now play my old PS2 games again. Rejoice! In honor of this glorious day, today is old video game day. Find your oldest video game and play it. Enjoy the warm nostalgia feelings you get when you do so.

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

PS. Wolf Snare is a smelly Canadian. Please tell him to take a shower. Private message him, everyone.

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 05:43:21 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)

My dear subjects,

I went out and played trivia tonight. It was fun. We were doing well until the last question, which we just didn't have a clue on. I'm sure we'll get it eventually though.

But the reason I am messaging you, by dear subjects, we keep losing the team name competition. So, instead of wracking my brain to think of a great one, I am turning to my loyal minions! I am having a contest. For the next three days, send me the best team name you can think of, one that is both funny and somewhat suggestive. Or involves alcohol, those also seem to do well. Anyway, whoever sends me the best team name gets a nice reward, and if it wins the competition at trivia next week, the reward doubles. So get to thinking minions!

That is all.

Your Emperor,

Volkov

[Shadow]

This is a good thread. Those are good messages.

[Kilkenne]

I only got one message telling me that I am, in fact, a jerkface.

[Gen. Volkov]

I am disappointed, I had hoped for many messages telling you that Kilk. I was hoping for an inbox flooded with such messages. SHAME ON YOU ALL FOR IGNORING MY DECREES!

-Emperor Volkov, making RWL more fun since Dec. 31st, 2011.

[Rakefur]

*updated*

[Rakefur]

*updated*

BTW, Gatorade is much better than powerade.

[Wolf Snare]

No double posting please.

Geez Dan you're in good spirits, showering in between the usual six week interval!

Though good form, I'll admit; I was beginning to smell you from Ontario!

[Gen. Volkov]

Quiet you! I will brook no insolence from my subjects!

Also, my six weeks is better than your 8 week interval. I CAN smell you all the way down here in Indiana, and let me say, you stink dude! I hope your inbox is flooded with PMs telling you to take a shower.

[Rakefur]

*updated x2*

[Briar]

Rakefur, you don't need to keep posting that you updated.

[Rakefur]

Yeah I do. So you guys can see the new ones :)  ::)

[Briar]

Most ppl on here play reg. So you really don't need to be spamming the Reg board with information we can all obtain by logging into our Reg accounts.

[Rakefur]

I wasn't spamming, but ALL RIGHT. YOU DON'T NEED TO GET NASTY.

[Gen. Volkov]

I kind of like that he is doing this actually. The messages are going to get buried under other messages, and eventually reg will be reset, so all the messages will go with them. Also, some of the most active forum-goers are the least active on reg. Kilk has been on vacation for a long time, as has Ashy.

Granted, most of them are just silliness, but I think a record of all the messages I send out as emp is a good idea. I plan on having a lot of them. LOL. He doesn't need to post that its been updated though. People will be able to see that for themselves.

[Kilkenne]

I like seeing this without having to log my carcass in on reg. Keep this up, thanks.