I realized something

[Kilkenne]

It might be prescription painkillers talking, but here's a question:

Why aren't there more fat kids at hogwarts?

I mean seriously, there is one sport, and about ten (plus or minus 2, I forget) kids on each team, and the main aspect of the sport is to fly on a broom. They aren't running around (they are flying) and the only ones who are arguably really getting good exercise out of it are the guys hitting the balls at the other guys (or girls).

It would appear that all of the food there is mostly calorie-rich, dense food, and there is a feast seemingly at least once a week. These children being exposed to this kind of fare without the opportunity to exercise outside of wandering up and down the castle attempting to find classrooms that change location live an essentially sedentary lifestyle. They wake up, they walk a few minutes to class, sit down, read, and eventually sometimes they get to walk down on weekends to some shops. But the majority of them can't even go. So basically they eat/sleep/go to class in the same area, ~97% of them don't engage in any kind of sport. (I mean, you see how big the stands at Quidditch matches, they're heaped full of people, there must be a lot of kids at the school) There is also no mention anywhere of them actually running about or anything.

Accounting for those that have a fast metabolism, I'd say that would be a comfortable 50% of them, indeed a GENEROUS 50%. And say that 3% of the student body plays Quidditch, and we'll count that as exercise, even though they are flying on brooms, not running, which is integral in most sporting activities, but half of them fall under the "fast metabolism" category, thus bringing our total to 51.5% of the student body who would be immune to obesity via natural or school-sanctioned sporting causes. This leaves us with 48.5% of the student body who likely doesn't get exercise outside of blundering their way to the breakfast, lunch, and dinner tables and feasting until their robes burst.

Yet, none of the students seem to be grossly overweight, except Neville, who isn't really grossly obese, he's just a fat kid. Also, magic doesn't make you thinner, of this I am a firm believer. If you can't curse off your acne, I'm pretty sure you can't blast off fat with a spell.

My conclusion: Near half of the students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are Bulimic. They must stick their wands to the backs of their throats to counter-act their constant binge eating and lack of exercise to stay so thin. J.K. Rowling advocates eating disorders and should be imprisoned.

[Pippin]

i say they just dont like fattys

[Neobaron]

"magic"

[Pippin]

theres also a weight capacity on the brooms, it isn't called a fatbus 3000

[Krowdon]

Kilkenne, I never considered that. Are we talking books or movies?

They dont really describe the other kids other than main characters and a few side kicks.

How do you know Merlin Jr. In the back of the class doesnt weigh 560 pounds?

[Neobaron]

The stuttering one was kind of chunky at first.

But then he got taller and hooked up with the blonde one who talked to herself.

(I did not pay attention through 90% of these movies.)

[Kilkenne]

Well, in the films, there are none, but we could just say that that is artistic freedom taken by the directors and whomever cast all the characters.

My only book evidence would be if we took the principle cast of characters as a "focus group" and extrapolated their obesity data to fit the amount of students in Hogwarts, which might or might not give us accurate results.

The principle characters of the book (students) are:

Ron (Poor, pure blood kid)
Hermione (Middle-class, muggle-born kid)
Draco (Rich, pure blood kid)
Harry (Questionable blood because his mother was muggle born, and of questionable actual wealth)

One might be able to include Neville, but he's more of just a sidekick. We also have to throw out Dudley because he, too, is a non-magic user. I would assume that because the principle characters are mostly thin, that even if we added Neville as a principle character, we would be only at 20% fat kids. It's still a long shot from the amount that don't engage in sport, walking, running, quidditch, or otherwise. And we just don't see the problems. It could be that Madam Pomfrey has a cure for diabetes so we don't hear in the books about having to take class breaks for Merlin Jr's insulin shots, or Gandalf the IV's collapse in the hall due to low blood sugar, but this is unlikely.

Although the idea that all of the non-essential characters are fatties is hilarious to me for some reason.

[Krowdon]

Although the idea that all of the non-essential characters are fatties is hilarious to me for some reason.

It is pretty funny if you think about it.

Where do you come up with this stuff?

[Neobaron]

A few of the professors were fat. The guy with the eye and the giant.

[Pippin]

there was a little midget whos head was big

[Kilkenne]

I've had a lot of time to think in the last week or so, and a lot of time to watch T.V. and not spout my platitudes onto the internet. So I just got to thinking one day, and was like "Whoa." That and vicodin.

[Shadow]

It's 'cause they are European. There are far fewer fat Europeans than fat Americans, and that got reflected in the film.

[Pippin]

fat people are fat

[Neobaron]

It's 'cause they are European. There are far fewer fat Europeans than fat Americans, and that got reflected in the film.

Silly merika hating canadian.

Look at the new numbers.

Australia is your new target, GOGOGOGOGOGO.

---

Vicodin is a hell of a drug.

Unfortunately it just puts me to sleep. :(

[Shadow]

When I say America there, I lump in Canada as well ^_^ Canada is full of fatties.