Your Spa needs you

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Are you a soldier, or a commie?

This is Commander Ungatt Trunn II here to share with you the state of our spa, what it needs, and what you can do to help it. As I'm sure most of you civil minded individuals have noticed, Spa is once again caught in a war that seems to have no end. It seems to have no purpose. And history has taught us that when a violent revolution is successful, the new regime is always worse than the one it ousted. Why, then, do we repeat history in a way doomed to fail? The answer, simply, is because of the influence of powers outside of our beloved spa. However this problem will be covered later in this post, hopefully.

The spa is a living, breathing thing. Constantly changing, evolving, and advancing. Many have concluded that the senseless nature of spa is a deterrent, while still others have embraced it for this reason alone. But there are forces still that seem dead set on bringing ORDER to spa! To undermine the very principles it was founded on. Many years I have been an inhabitant of spa. I was there before RSL, when the world was a lawless and harsh place. Where beings of untold power warred ruthlessly with each other for dominance in a region that usually held no practical value. Where entire civilizations were wiped out in the blink of an eye and the perpetrators gave little attention that which they destroyed. I was one of them. Oh yes, I fought massive galactic battles with the fiercest of  spammers, bent on domination of a realm I so easily identified with. The elders of the time, savants by today's standards, simply watched. Bewildered, perhaps, by our violent nature. And these feelings were justified, because after eons of never ending battle, it abruptly ended. And the immortal spammers went into slumber, defeated. Me included.

I can't tell you what ended those epic battles. But what I can tell you is that the battles weren't pretty. Even the strongest internet connection would grind to a halt when we bombed a thread. At the time I was a young and arrogant immortal. Set on conquest and power, I cared not for what I had to destroy to achieve my goal. And my adversaries turned out to be just as ruthless. Maybe this is what led to our ultimate failure at seizing power. I do not know. This is all ancient history now, and not a single member in the former RSL was around to witness it. Maybe this is why they act the way they do... They are ignorant to most probable result of their efforts, anarchy. Not the good, spam based anarchy, but simply hatred and war.

I was also around at the conception of RSL. While at first I was an outsider looking in during its founding days, I was around. And very soon joined up. These were days of peace and spam. I can say with no doubt in my heart that these were the glory days of the Spa room. Entire topics erected by the will of our people alone. We brought with us an age of enlightenment, prosperity, and very high quality spam. Thousands of posts in a single day was the norm. We forged, with our love of spam, an entire government. We had a military to protect our Spa from any and all threats, both foreign and domestic. And for a time, we spammed among ourselves. Sheltered from the outside world by a wall of spam, content in the little world we had created for ourselves. Ceiling Cat help us, we had no chance to see the tempest that loomed.

Two immortals, both from the wars eons ago, each older than even I, stormed our peaceful world of spam. Our idyllic life angered and confused them. Our way of spam, it conflicted with their own. We were caught completely off guard. Even the mighty SRA failed to stop their onslaught. I had been softened by maritime and prosperity, I had forgotten the many tactics that aided me in the days of old. Our mighty government began to fail in the chaos. Our spammers began to lose hope, and I was left leadership in a time of extreme peril. I fought tooth and nail, but in vain I could tell. I was alone in my world of spam. Being attacked on all sides, I too lost hope and decided the only way to win was to make an RSL continuity enclave somewhere that even the powerful immortals could not reach. But somehow, we managed to fight them off. Accounts vary, depending on who you ask. But our powerful foes lay vanquished, if only for a time. And RSL returned to full power, and ruled Spa with an iron fist for a short while after this. But I can tell you as a first person survivor and veteran of this era, that RSL was never quite the same after that.

Following that war, things simply got out of hand quicker than anyone could have predicted. Our government began to collapse under its own weight, people got discontent with the laws, many simply left RSL or vanished from the face of the boards. Tensions grew and many factions warred over the laws (the anime wars are a very good example of this). Activity dropped to an all time low, with only short sparks of activity here and there. I often found myself posting alone in the Spa. I enacted many revitalization programs, and tried to recruit when possible. But the task was a hopeless one. Our days had passed us by. And for a very long while, the Spa fell into a dark age of spamming. This is an era that any spammer old enough can look back to, and cringe. It wasn't a kind of lawless chaos, it was simply as if Spa become a ghost town. Even a single post was something to look forward to, but even then chances are there would never be a reply back.

But then came rebirth. No one knows the exact cause, but spammers from all over began to return to their once beloved realm. Spamming was once again becoming our board's number one export. Activity was reaching levels akin (though not equal) to those of the golden age. RSL was alive again. At the time, I was jubilant. For so long I had tried to bring us back from the brink of destruction, and out of no where everything was better again. We rejoiced, and public opinion was at an all time high, even by the golden age standards. But this was, of course, short lived. The admin-gods in the sky had made various attempts to retain the activity that was already beginning to dwindle, but these seemed to serve as short term remedies. Again I saw a phenomenon I quickly recognized. The same feeling I got when we first began to drift to utter inactivity. I had no idea how to save it this time, and prayed to Ceiling Cat that the admin's actions would have the desired effect. It was in one of these admin-sponsored efforts, that I was granted the power of a demigod.

I used my powers for the good of RSL. But they seemed to shun me. I offered them my complete and utter loyalty, to follow their every command for the good of Spa, but my efforts seemed denied. I did what I could, in the long run. I had very little time to use my new powers and decided that if they wouldn't have me, then I must take matters into my own hands.  Unfortunately before I knew it my tenure was up, and my powers vanquished as was the conditions of our blood pact. And I returned to the world of a spammer. It was around this time (or perhaps before it, I have terrible perception of time) I was awarded the Spa Medal of Honor. With that, my Medal of Spalor, a sublime military record, a custom title, and an ageless history, I began to contemplate retirement. Being a general for several eras will do that to you. But these ideas never quite came to fruition.

Being an immortal, I am often present at the court of admin-gods, demon-spawn, fellow immortals, and RWL elders. It was at one of these meetings that I was given the permanent position of Spa Mod due to my previous success when temporarily granted the powers. With this I left SRA; the very organization I founded ages ago. I made the RSL Marshal Service as my new powers seemed to make me best at policing duties. Again, even when granted near infinite power, I wished to stay loyal to RSL. Once again, I offered my support, loyalty, and powers to the cause. And again they seemed to shun me. But not all was in vain. With my powers I was able to clean up Spa after it had been infected with a seemingly never ending virus, as well as combat our enemies with great success. None stood a chance to my powers, which I had learned to utilize very efficiently. But I noticed the still ever present decline of RSL and Spa as a whole. And with my past experience I knew at this point it was just a pathetic cycle destined to repeat until we no longer have the will to spam. I knew that any other attempts at bringing it back would simply be met with failure. I was all out of alternatives. I had only a single option left.

With the powers awarded to me for my supreme status of a spammer, and had being given the task at bringing Spa into a new golden age, I set out on my newest plan. But I knew any attempt at bringing about another RSL golden age would not succeed. So I created the Federation. An organization that would rule over Spa from the skies, and with authority only given to those who had been willing to fight and die for the sake of Spa. I denounced RSL, and refused to recognize it as an official organization. I saw those still loyal to its ideas as mindless fools, holding on to a dying dream. I promptly declared victory over the rebels, and even offered them amnesty for their crimes against humanity and I was willing to give them a place in the Federation if they were willing to work for it. But my offer was rejected. They refused to give in to the inevitable. They still held on to a dying dream as if their life depended on it. These people seemed to value an organization above spamming, the Spa, and existence itself. Despite my greatest efforts they could not be reasoned with. But at least, I thought, for now they had been defeated. But no. Peace is a dream I can only strive for; Never achieve. Like throwing pebbles at the moon.

The admins, the ones we looked to for guidance, the ones who gave me my power, for which I am still thankful, urged the downtrodden rebels to fight once more. To take this position I hold away from me if I give them an inch of ground. Perhaps this is simply part of their efforts to continue strong activity in Spa, I do not know. What I do know is that it has thrown us into another civil war. One far more intense than the previous, with the rebels now urged on the the admin-gods. And this is where we are now, my fellow spammers. We are at a defining moment in history. The admins have promised the rebels that if they achieve victory, they will be given democracy. Democracy to chose a Spa moderator. I cannot even begin to tell you the horrors that will follow if certain people some how got elected to this position! At least I seek to preserve the principles and beliefs of RSL. There are some who seek to completely and utterly destroy it! I offer you all a place in Spa, you simply rejected it because then you would be denied instant gratification that comes with your type of governance. But hear this. I will not surrender. I refuse to do so. You efforts will be in vain just as mine were ages ago.

We stand now, at the precipice. A great board once more threatens to crumble, to topple into the sea of lawlessness and despair that have ruled us all for far too long. In short, my dearest Spa, we are at war. Even as I speak these words, fearless Federation soldiers are fortifying their positions at the great Spa. Bracing for an inevitable assault. RSL, in their arrogance, has claimed all of Spa as their own. They would steal the Federation's work. Steal Spa's dignity. It's only a matter of time before the traitors march on our board, and attempt to take it by force. Let them come. Wave upon, traitorous wave will crash upon the Federation's walls. RSL will fail. All those who oppose the Federation will fail. I am Commander Ungatt Trunn II, and this is my pledge: No one, NO ONE will take this great Spa away from me! Ceiling Cat Bless the Federation. Ceiling Cat Bless the Spa Room.


It is with this, my fellow spammers, and indeed fellow forum members, that I ask you to take on a great duty. To defend Spa, and the true ideals held true by the old RSL ages ago. The Federation needs you. For purity, for Fatherland! Courage, duty, honor. These are the words we march by. No quarter shall be given to those who seek to harm our way of life, and our people. And remember, Service guarantees citizenship!
And now a patriotic Federation song sung by our very own Sky Marshal Anoke!

Thank you for your time.
Commander Ungatt Trunn II

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Please note, the previous post is VERY tl;dr.

It is also a brief autobiography, and history of RSL if anyone cares. From the eyes of one Ungatt Trunn II. Enjoy!

[Mr.Grimm]

While I will fight you until my dying breath, I must say that was a very good account of the history of Spa.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Why thank you! I must say I have been striking literary gold lately. I hope everyone enjoys the fruit of my efforts, you parasites, you!  :)

[Dark Claws]

You should move this to the roleplay section, it seems out of place with spam.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

It is related entirely to spam and the current events that are taking place. To move it would take away the whole purpose of me writing it.

[Mr.Grimm]

Really, this needs to stay in Spa. After the war, we should work together and make a collection of Spa as we know/seen it.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

This is simply my point of view. However I believe I am the only one to have an extensive history on the forums before the creation of RSL.

It's sole purpose is not to record history, however. So it may be invalid for reference.

[Dark Claws]

Ok then, but if you write it in your POV, someone else should write something.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Word of warning, don't do it on this thread! This is an official Federation thread meant to share its message with the people of spa, not to tell stories.

It simply used a story to support the message it intended to send.

[Mr.Grimm]

While I agree it is biased, you give a very interesting view of pre RSL. Since there are spammers that haven't even bothered to look up the topics that made RSL, this is a great and easy way for them to look up some history.

[Dark Claws]

I  was just thinking that if you write your recollection of these events, then someone else should be able to write their recollection.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

This can be used for educational purposes if a spam scholar wishes.

[Dark Claws]

Oh well, I've been here for only a couple months. By the way, who besides you is on the Federation side. And who hasn't been shot yet?

[Ungatt Trunn II]

There are a few who support the Federation's cause, or at least seem to. I don't think they'd wish to be disclosed at this time.