Elephants.

[prodiGee]

You know, elephants are pretty cool, they're all big and stuff... They have this trunk that can crush a man into tomato paste, and tusks that can open the vaults of Fort Knox. These things make elephants cool, BUT, and this is a HUGE BUT, they're not as cool as hippopotami. Hippos kill people. More people per year than any other animal, because hippos are killing machines. I once met a hippo so angry and powerful that by force of will alone he created the universe. Though this is commonly referred to as the big bang, it's actually the big chomp. That was a hungry, hungry hippo.

[Briar]

Once an armadillo ate an elephant just because that elephant had stolen the armadillo maroon socks. 

[Zara_rose_wolf]

And that armadillo was named Steve

[Briar]

But Steve had big plans to see the world

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Unfortunately customs office says NO!

[Briar]

So Steve had to use alternate means

[prodiGee]

In his infinite wisdom, Steve fashioned a time machine out of materials readily available at the armadillo hardware store.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

But in his haste, he instead constructed a Hoover vacuum.

[prodiGee]

I really don't like where this is going, it's offensive to Inuits.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

The Inuits won't mind, they'll love it in the pink warm tight belly pouch.

[prodiGee]

When did vacuums become kangaroos?

[Ungatt Trunn II]

When they were made out of chewed bubble gum.

[prodiGee]

Chewaroo.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

I heard it's not too good.

Inb4 mudkipz

[prodiGee]

I wasn't going to say it and now you've prevented me from saying it for the rest of this thread.