RSL's GLOURIOUS HISTORY!!!

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Nope. My side won. I have real power now. BUT, I want to give my council position to Briar and be given the position of RSL's Grand General of SRA.

[Firetooth]

Nope. My side won. I have real power now. BUT, I want to give my council position to Briar and be given the position of RSL's Grand General of SRA.

Whatever, you aren't leader incase you haven't notice, you were leader for what...one hour?

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Nope. Almost a day. And in that time I indeed accomplished something. I furthered Wolfy's plan of tricking you and didn't even know it.

Besides, I never mentioned anything about my leadership in that post so why bring it up?

[Firetooth]

Nope. Almost a day. And in that time I indeed accomplished something. I furthered Wolfy's plan of tricking you and didn't even know it.

Besides, I never mentioned anything about my leadership in that post so why bring it up?

yAH BUT YOU SAID YOU HAD REAL POWER NOW! :-*

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Cuz I am in the council.

Although that's not really the position  I want so I am requesting a new one.

[Firetooth]

Cuz I am in the council.

Although that's not really the position  I want so I am requesting a new one.

Yeah but I MADE TE DA, COUNCIL
You would haff no council without me. I'm offneded

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Too bad. You lost.

Now, admit defeat. There is more shame in living in denial than honorably admitting defeat.

[Firetooth]

Too bad. You lost.

Now, admit defeat. There is more shame in living in denial than honorably admitting defeat.

But I was not defeatd, I was BETRAYED. DIFFERENCE.
You won this time...out of luck that I made a council-but you better rember dere be no council without me
I basically made the spamtical power system n00b :P

[Firetooth]

1.    Noob    
   
A. INTRO
I. What is this?
II. Defining 'Noob'

B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS
I. Noobish
II. Where to find noobs
III. Behavior of noobs
IV. Noob religion
V. More about noob habitats

C. AVOIDING NOOBS
I. Make sure you aren't one
II. Major noob avoiding strategies

------------------------

A. INTRO

I. What is this?
This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.

II. Defining 'Noob'
Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.

Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.

* Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.

B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS

I. Noobish
Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.

stFU /../..an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b

Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.

II. Where to find n00bs
On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority.

Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.

Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.

III. Behavior of noobs
Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).

It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.

Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority.

Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.

IV. Noob Religion
Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.

V. More about noob habitats
Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish.

They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Stop trying to claim credit for things you've never done. You're just bloated with your own ego.

But I was not defeatd, I was BETRAYED. DIFFERENCE

Now you know how I felt when all my people were supposedly turning against me!! But there is a difference. They really ARE turning against you.

Besides, you only put him on the council to keep the support of the RSL members, you were trying to be the power behind the throne.

[Firetooth]

Stop trying to claim credit for things you've never done. You're just bloated with your own ego.

But I was not defeatd, I was BETRAYED. DIFFERENCE

Now you know how I felt when all my people were supposedly turning against me!! But there is a difference. They really ARE turning against you.

Besides, you only put him on the council to keep the support of the RSL members, you were trying to be the power behind the throne.

No I put him dere coz he was de leder, *sighz*

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Don't lie to yourself. It's not healthy.

[Night Wolf]

Pfft Night Wolf didn't plan this...it was convienient that I made him council member, this was assuming he knew that I would do that, seeinga I could not have done taht :P

It didnt turn out exactly as I planned but I still prevailed my plan did indeed work

[Daryn]

The real story?
It started as a laugh from Krowdon and Wolf and Briar.

wait...didn't i make up the clan for spammers? i suggested it!

Violation of the Copyright Law! You excluded me!

[Night Wolf]

Yes but I created RSL itself. You now have a chair on the council and Ungatt is the Grand General.