Spam-O-Matic!!

bjornredtail · January 31, 2009, 06:08:47 PM

New, from MicroShaft! It's the Spam-O-Matic!

Now, you don't even need to get infected with worms to become a spam zombie, the capability is built right into the Kernel. Send any kind of spam you like, to any medium!

Want to send third class junkmail? No problem, just hook up our USPS* approved printing attachment and spam away.
And, of course it can do spear-phishing. Great for bringing home dinner!

Want to spam fourms? No problem! With just a few commands, your automatically generated drivial could be filling the databases of websites everywhere.

Don't wait, call NOW! If you call within next 3.1415 minutes, we will even include a free can of a certain unamed Hormel pork product....

But, wait' there's even more! We will even include a program that will automatically generate annoying infomercials like this one!
It can all be yours for 3 easy payments of 19.94, plus shipping and handling, plus two payments of 9.99 and an additional 10 payments of .99 .

(*USPS = United Spam Portal System)

Ungatt Trunn II · January 31, 2009, 10:02:22 PM

thats it im calling th IRAA and the FCC

bjornredtail · February 01, 2009, 02:52:11 AM

Don't you mean the RIAA and the FTC?
Oh, wait, I probably shouldn't have said that.
Stupid federal government and music industry trade groups enforceing their copyrights and fighting fraud.

Though, I could do something to get the FCC involved... Yes.

* bjornredtail uses HAM radio bands for commercial purposes.

Ungatt Trunn II · February 01, 2009, 09:29:06 AM

Whu... oh!

no not the gov things

IRAA- Is Russia Airworthy Anyways

FCC- Fries cut cats

duh....

Firetooth · February 18, 2009, 03:46:23 PM

Eat spam, spammers!

bjornredtail · February 20, 2009, 02:28:21 AM

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm... SPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

And, now get SPAM! The origional prok product. Great for breakfast! It can now be yours for 32 easy payments of $.02

Firetooth · February 20, 2009, 02:31:37 AM

*nukes spam factory*
KILL THEM! BURN THE SPAM!
Soldier: Yum, cooked spam! :)

bjornredtail · February 20, 2009, 03:06:56 AM

* bjornredtail activates strategic spam reserve.

Your terrorist acts shall not interrupt the spam supply.

Ungatt Trunn II · February 20, 2009, 02:15:11 PM

*random explosions destroy Firetooth*

Firetooth · February 20, 2009, 02:17:10 PM

*who then reforms using his regenerative powers*
heroes ftw :D
*throws Ungatt into a supermassive spam hole, in which nothing exsists but everything exsists*

Shadow · February 20, 2009, 02:17:19 PM

*Is showered with bits of firetooth*
Gross...

Ungatt Trunn II · February 20, 2009, 02:18:29 PM

*Enters palace and sits on throne*

Attack, army of weird looking zombie/vampire things!

Firetooth · February 20, 2009, 02:20:46 PM

*each bit of firetooth grows into a new firetooth*
Charge, my glorious clones! Life just got a lot better :D
*firetooths charge at zombie things*
*ground collapses*
*from the hole a massive tin of metal with spam on legs covered in weapons appears*
Firetooth: I give you, the spammantor9000. Kill my friend!!!
*the spam tin destroys palaca*

bjornredtail · February 22, 2009, 03:18:19 PM

Rally to me! Rally to me!
The heavily armed bunnies are earth's last hope of survival!

Firetooth · February 23, 2009, 02:33:45 PM

*spammanator9000 crushes burnt bunnies under little toe*
Statement full of extreme prejudice, anger and hatred: Die you rabit scum!