is it wrong?

[The Lady Shael]

Yes...wise choice, Volkov. Very wise.

=p

The friendship is pretty important...the friends don't go way back, but neither of them would want to lose the friendship.

And the girl wouldn't just be hooking up with his friend just to be spiteful or anything...she's known him and hung out with him over a couple months and realizes that the relationship she had before wasn't the best it could have been and she realizes there's more to a relationship than she first thought.

[Gen. Volkov]

LOL, right.

Well, I wouldn't risk the friendship, were I the girl. If I were the guy, I dunno if I would or not. I probably would... cause, well, I'm a guy. LOL. Anyway, if you break up, you'll likely lose the friendship too. Your decision I guess. Also depends on whether you want to hurt the ex or not, as kell said.

[Alazar is Back]

I personaly think that its wrong, because how would you feel if your best friend dated your ex??? To me i think its kinda wrong, actually my best friend dated a girl and then his 2 year younger brother tried to date her, (ended up doing it in relative secrecy too) I dunno i guess thats for you to decide Shael.

[Shadow]

if you are doing it to hurt your ex (which i doubt) it's wrong. Otherwise, I see no problem with it as long as the man in question does not. It could create some tension in their relationship, but that's entirely his call. I can't really give any better advice without knowing all 3 people in question.

[wolf bite]

Having walked on this earth longer than most here, I have seen this countless times.  I have also been in all 3 positions.  It is a lose, lose and lose situation.

This is getting confusing since it is all theoretical and we don?t want to use real names and it really does not matter what the gender of people are, so I made a road map.
There are 3 people:
The EX (who is the person who?s best friend is thinking of dating his EX Lover)
The Best Friend (Who wants to date the EX lover)
And the Ex lover (who used to date the EX and is thinking of dating the Best Friend)

If the person is the Ex, and finds out about it, he/she has been ultimately betrayed. If they never find about it, the guilt from the best friend changes the relationship so much that it can never be repaired.

If the person is the best friend, then they really need to evaluate their reasons for dating the Ex Lover of their friend and whether it is worth the risk of losing their friend over it.  Also even if the Best Friend is madly in love with the Ex lover, then how can they be sure of the motivation of the Ex Lover in dating them?  It would be horrible to lose a friend only to find out they were subconsciously used by the Ex Lover.

Now if the person is the Ex Lover, they need to be sure they are not using the Best Friend for revenge or that refusal to leave emotionally the Ex.  Then they face the never know true subconscious intentions of the Best Friend in that the Best Friend may be ?one upping? their old friend.  In that case, the Ex Lover finds out they have been used, mind and body. Very bluntly, having a physical relationship that is based on a lie is a ?violation? (I could use the true word I mean but we would be leaving the PG rating).

Unfortunately when I was in the situation of the EX, there was nothing I could do but sadly lose a friend and watch my ex lover get further hurt.  Luckily when I was in the situation of the best friend or Ex lover, I was thoughtful enough to never let it carry through.

The odds of the situation not falling into the above is maybe 1 out of a 100 or 1,000. So I can?t say it never works, only that it does not work almost all of the time and for people?s mental state, they should avoid at all costs.


Wolf Bite