Happy 3rd Birthday, RWL!

[bjornredtail]

----- Original Message -----
From: Redwall Warlords Web Game <rwl@iboze.com>
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 2002 22:59:22 -0500 (CDT)
To: nevadacow@lycos.com
Subject: Promisance Signup for Redwall: Warlords - Northlands Raiders. (#2)


Thank you for signing up for Redwall: Warlords!

If you did not sign up for an account with us, please let us know
and delete this message with our apologies.

---
You entered the following information when you signed up:
Username: nevadacow
Password: xxxxxxxx
Validation Code: 5c1f06be23f26fd3c5a5fdb293361cba

Once you have used 150 turns, you will be prompted to enter the above
validation code in order to continue playing.
Please do NOT delete this e-mail until you have validated!
---

Be sure to check out the latest creations from us at
http://www.xepher.net/~rwl and tell your friends about our great
services and games!

Your e-mail address shall remain strictly confidential and will NOT
be given out to anyone.

Should you want to reply to this e-mail, please use rwl@iboze.com


--

An item of historical intrest...

[Gen. Volkov]

Cool. Welcome back everyone who had left, and is back for teh birthday.

[Juby (Tercios)]

*nods*

[Ashyra Nightwing]

O_o *remembers iBoze.com* Now that was long ago...

Yes, welcome back, all. Three years! *dances*

[Holby]

I thought it was appropriate to share some of my works in progress of long ago that I obviously never put up ^.^ .


Ten Ways To Take Down Ereptor and Mordor:

1.   Claim LOTR has been rewritten in RWL theme, with Ereptor mentioned throughout. Attack while he?s trying to find the new version.
2.   Summon up a tornado and send it to Ereptor. Watch the scores eagerly for his account to be deleted for inactivity.
3.   Using your gained Elvish powers from joining Loren, remove the ?online? star so people hit him while he plays his turns.
4.   Make ?None? into a real clan for unlimited attacks.
5.   Make him speak elvish if he wants to contact Loren. This will cause him to confuzzle his account into complete weakness.
6.   Rename Blades the ?Fellowship of the secret shushy clan that is going to take Ereptor down secretly.? Tag is FOSHED.

And I've posted this before, but love it still...

You know you?re too RWL obsessed when?
You go to the pet shop to try and recruit rats cheaply.
The rats refuse because you kill them off too easily in attacking.
You attempt to work out how many guards it will take to get to sleep, and then how many to stay so undisturbed.
You call your RL friends multis, hoping Retto will hear across the other side of the world and disable them.
You compare historic battles to your own RWL ones.
You leave the forums just to see how many people post on your topic.
You come back.
You set your watch to gametime.   
You think you know who the Romans are.
You go to the nearest bank, and try to take out a max loan- they won?t lend you 500 million dollars.
You stick cheese in your CD-ROM to feed your weasels.
You kick your cat to see if the +16% defence for Wildcat kicks in.
Wolf Bite?s journal is your bedtime story.
Numbers seem insignificant when not in the thousands.
You become an architect to design Huts that will hold more leaders.
You visit your local boating store to try and upgrade your skiffs to motorboats.
You pick blackberries down at your school oval, rather than buying lunch- food is too expensive from mercs.
You form a group at your school/workplace to help obsessed RWLers, and call it a clan.
You get upset when it doesn?t show on the clan listing.
You try to match your clan rules to your school/workplace policy- you can?t understand it when your suggestion of Sharing Forces to the principal/boss is turned down.
You ring up Gambler?s Help Line due to your consistent betting on skiff races.
You plan to holiday in Mossflower Country during your next vacation.
You prepare your raiders so you can travel the world and meet fellow RWLers
You decide it will take too long, and try and find their horde?s whereabouts instead.
You warn your friends against plastic surgery because you saw what happened when you tried to Polymorph.
You look up every time you walk past a tree to see if a Painted One jumps down at you.
You have to draw a symbol representing yourself as part of your assessment after reading ?The Gathering? and it?s the Black Ages logo.
You make desktops out of screenshots from when you were in first.
You paint the Black Ages logo on the desk during art.
You make a RWL card game with special editions of famous players- the rarest card is a holographic Wolf Bite avatar.
You cried when Slayer disbanded.
You tell yourself eating disgusting cough lollies are actually a way to improve your RWL skill- you finish the packet in an hour.
You tell your doctor to give you a prescription for enough loyalty to use Heal.
You memorised every horde name from Era 1 so you can claim to be an oldbie.
You actually get your maths teacher to allow your class to play RWL during maths.
You say the alphabet- as best you can remember; the first three letters are R-W-L.
You want to move to Southsward without having to perform the mission, so travel to Australia instead.
You discover Holby did that.
You fill out a job application, and under ?contact number? you put in your RWL one.
You prefer the IG message system to E-mail.
You try to set your horde onto people who threaten you.
You write the unwritten Code of Honour.
Someone steals your TV set- you realise that it was really a City in disguise, and that ?someone? was probably Retto.
You drink a glass of water, and realise that your troops never ask for any. You think their power may increase if they can be supplied with it, so you pour a glass into the Floppy Drive.
You think the flowers in your front yard are really Guards, as they seem to protect your home so well. Someone rips out your flowers, and you turn ?Anti-Guard?.
You only get out of bed every day because you don?t want to be deleted for inactivity.
You?re sick of rats ploughing through your own, so try to fit armour into your account to improve their defence- you?re still struggling to get through the login screen.
You get to another player?s house using skiffs.
You look on E-bay for cheap stoats and free, prompt delivery.
-
I only remember doing this, vaguely, don't think I posted it.

Hello, this is the RWL helpline, how can I help you?
Yeah, well, I want to quit playing

Can you give me a reason to stop, something that is affecting your normal life? Surely this is too great a game to stop.
I don?t have time, school starts for me again on Monday.

That?s the most pathetic reason I?ve ever heard! You want to keep playing, nothing is more important
Hey, don?t you want me to quit?

*Cough* Of course, mate. Just, er, you don?t have a good reason to

School!

We can teach you everything here, you don?t need school! Cal runs spelling lessons, Peace is a whiz at maths, and Wolf will give you general life experience

Life experience, eh?

Yeah, how to do deal with your accounts being killed, and the many games you?re asked to play as an Emperor. Day to day problems

Those aren?t day to day problems! And they?re not proper teachers! What are you on about?

See, you?re cured already. Please hang up the phone

-

I have this and a lot of other stuff that I've done over the years (none of it very good) that I intended to make into a webpage mini-book, hehe. Here are some of the covers I was working on...

[Gen. Volkov]

You are all insane. Absolutely insane. And what is the deal with you and Steve Holby?

Too add to the madness, here is a Soap Opera, RWL style.

"As the turns progress"

Kilk: Shael, how could you!

Shael:(In the arms of Peace Alliance) Oh! Your back! You were gone for so long, I just got so lonely.

Kilk: A likely story.

Shael: (Scrambling upright) His army of rats is just SO big.... I couldn't help myself.

Kilk: You lie! Now you shall pay!

Shael: NO! Honey! Please! Have mercy!

Peace Alliance: Don't I get a say in this?

Kilk and Shael: NO!

Peace: (In small voice) Ok...

(Kilk and Shael proceed to fight, while Peace sneaks out the back door)

END (Or is it?)

[Arguia Zsah]

Nope. Knowing soap operas it will drag on for another few weeks... during which it will emerge that Kilk is actually gay and had an affair with Volkov... but actually that was a lie made up by Aqualis who was jealous of Kilk because a few years ago Kilk tried to chat up Calria who Aqualis wanted to go out with... but of course Calria was really dating Volkov who had a crush on Wolfbite... who was secretly a cross-dresser with a thing for middle-aged men with goatees... but this was just a rumour concocted by a vindictive player who chose to remian anonymous... but was exposed to actually be Shael when Ashyra accidentally walked on her writing a blog in which she admitted to her villianous ways... but of course this was actually an impostor wearing a mask who had a long standing grudge against Shael... etc

Yeah. Now I'm bored. I'm not the biggest fan of soap operas. =P

[Aqualis]

I seem so shallow in that.

[Gen. Volkov]

Well I find it extremely funny. I'll add more later. :P

[The Lady Shael]

Someone should add details and add on. :- p

[Arguia Zsah]

we should meet up and film it! it would be an instant hit across the globe! =P

[Gen. Volkov]

Lol. Sure Arguia.... and chipmunks mating would too.

Shael: Why not you? Would be funny I'm sure.

[Vengerak]

Shael: (Scrambling upright) His army of rats is just SO big.... I couldn't help myself.

When I say "LOL", here, please be assured I literally laughed out loud.  Had I been drinking a smoothie or something neither myself nor my keyboard would have survived the experience.

[Gen. Volkov]

*Grin* Why thank you. I do try.