Toaster Trilogy

[TR Shadow]

 This is actually written from a male's perspective, which I almost never do, but I thought it was pretty odd.  *Should probably stop looking through old word Documents*  Enjoy!


Toaster Trilogy


Part I. The Toaster

Everyone hates me. My boss fired me. The IRS confiscated most of my belongings.  At least I have my toaster.  The toaster is my friend.  The toaster is always ready to warm my bread. The toaster is always there for me. I take it with me wherever I go.  When I go to apply for a job, I am rejected, because everyone hates me. Everyone but the toaster. I see myself in the toaster as I wait. The toaster makes my bread nice and warm. The toaster is my friend, my only friend. I push down the lever, and the toaster happily warms the bread. And when the bread is done, the lever comes back up, ready for another slice. Always aiming to please. I leave, trying to get a life for myself outside the house. I am always rejected. But the toaster is always there, always so understanding; always ready to make my day by preparing another slice. I don't deserve such a loyal friend. Maybe a bath will cheer me up. A nice bath and some toast. The toaster can come with me. I take the toaster with me wherever I go.


Part II. The Evil Toaster

Everyone hates me. My boss fired me. The IRS confiscated most of my belongings. I thought the toaster was my friend, but it was actually plotting against me, waiting for the moment to strike. The toaster always seemed so giving, so understanding. The toaster was always ready to prepare another slice of bread. But the toaster was plotting against me, waiting until I had completely let my guard down. I thought that a bath would cheer me up. A nice bath and some toast. I took the toaster with me. But the toaster decided that this was the time to strike. The toaster decided to "fall" off of the counter; "fall" into the bath, into the water. I'm lucky to be alive, if I am worthy of being alive. And now the toaster is not happy to warm my bread anymore. No more toast for me. The toaster knows that I know; the toaster is openly resentful of me, no longer making my precious toast. Since I know that the toaster hates me, I went out to get a new toaster with what money I have left. I thought maybe a new toaster would be my friend. That's when I saw the electric razor. Now the electric razor is my friend, my best friend, my only friend. The electric razor is always ready to remove that unwanted stubble. The electric razor is my friend, much better than the toaster. It's been a long day; I need another bath...


Part III. The Bathtub

Everyone hates me. My boss fired me. The IRS confiscated most of my belongings. For a while I thought that the toaster was my friend. The toaster was always ready to make my day by warming a slice of bread. Then one day, the toaster fell into the bathtub. Then I thought the taoster wasn't really my friend. I thought that the toaster was actually waiting for the time to strike and be rid of me. So I went and bought an electric razor. I thought that the electric razor was my friend. I needed to relax and so I took another bath. That's when the electric razor fell into the bathtub. At first I thought that the electric razor was out to get me, too, just like the toaster. Then, it came upon me that maybe neither of them were really out to get me. Perhaps they were trying to save me. Save me from... the bathtub. It was the bathtub that was out to get me all along. The bathtub tried to get rid of me by tricking my friends the toaster and the electric razor into falling into the tub. The toaster and the electric razor thought that the bathtub was going to get me, and so they dropped into the tub trying to save me, only they fell into the bathtub's trap. But I know the bathtub's game now. The toaster and the electric razor won't have sacrificed themselves in vain. That's why I made a new friend: the mallet!

[Menatus]

 XDDDD I don't know why I find that so funny, but I do. Hi-larious.

[RazorClaw]

 *sighs* So this is what modern society has been reduced to, eh?

[windhound]

 ^_^  great story..
poor toaster though, it was so misunderstood..  all it was trying to do was save the stupid guy from the bath, which we all know are evil..  showers are 1000x better  :lol:  

[Holby]

 That's really funny, Jules ^_^

[Aqualis]

 That was great.

[Arguia Zsah]

 *laughs*


Heeheehee!!! Me like!


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Did you know that the toaster is endangered? It is being slowly wiped out and replaced by... (dun dun duun)... the sandwich maker   *horrified gasp*

[Menatus]

 In response to the above signature.....or her head.

Mwahaa!(!!!!)