The Russian Mafia

[calria]

Not only a bally mistress.  But a marm from the jolly old Northlands!

Now 'ere's a bally flippin' 'are wot knows 'is marms 'n' mistresses 'n wot for! Good show, sah, very good form! An' ah'll be a-commendin' ye for it, as well, wot! Thar's not as many a good bally hare wot can make that differentiation, an' it's a good'n perilous beast wot can! Ah'll be a-reccom-bally-mendin' ye tae be the first bally hare-lord of th' good bally mountain of Sally-flippin-by-your-ears-a-mandastron!
An' as ta him wot's been a repre-hensi-mandin' me about me bally husband, well, I'll take his bally tail over your flippin' floppin' flea-bitten ears any day-o, me boy-o. 'S not as though yeh can eat yourself a nut-of-a-good pie without ye bite'n your pawsies in confusion over wot's the pie-o an' wot's yer bally flippin fur!

But, yes, good show, me not-a-hare boy with yer splen-ten-diferous changes in yer grammar-n-a-spell-a-bob habits, wot! It's enough to make a good hare-of-a-lass to be a crowin' with her a-bein so bally proud, wot!

((Tip: when reading harespeech, read it aloud, and with a British accent... it makes it easier.))

[Morzan]

 Bally sorry for the old switch-a-ma-gigger old gel, wot! You certaintly now how to flip a lads ears about, marm! Quite flipping sorry marm! Your a true blooming leader of the bally old regiment of hares and haresses no flippingdoubleyblooming doubt, wot! Steady on with the blinking remarks though old chum! Make a chap's checks burn a rather distainful color of the blooming red!The old mouseish fellow is a good old chum, met the old blooming rat in question while on my flipping greatgigantic long blooming patrol. Good mouse fellow marm, perfectly capableish and well rounded to marry a great blooming beautifulpretty gel like yourself, eh wot! PRefer squirrel lassies meself, beg your pardon though. Rather acrobaticish. Cease your galloping remarks though marm, eh wot! Have the whole bally Sala-ma-mountain fall down with your flipping language, make me old pa do a flip in his burielish grave marm!  

[Badrang the Tyrant]

 Peacefull mousey fella is a bally good chap to have around.  Do me a favor marm and box his bally ears off 'till the jolly cove comes back, wot wot!  As for Salamandawajamacallit, I might jolly well go there one day.  Lots of the vermin type to fight there.  Keeps a chap on his prime, fightin does, wot wot!

[DemonSlavers]

 I like your Sig. pic of the fighting ferret.

[calria]

 My apologies, then, my good sah, but I don't know a bally-flippin decent hare-of-a-lass who doesn't like to flip one-or-a-two-a the hares about her about the ears occasee-onal-menta-ly! Bein' a truley perilous beast-a-mistress with a good sharp toungue in'er cake-ity-hole is wot separates the  bally fightin-flipping-stout-eared hares from the double-a-bouncin hop-a-doodle down the bunny trail fleabitten rabbits, wot!
An' as to me bally mouse-of-a-flippin bally peaceful be-whiskatered husband, I'll see what I can do with me nose an' me ruddy tail-tip, an' all the bits in between up'n-countin' me bloomin' bloody eartips, but 'es a perilous beast for a peace-of-a-lover, wot! Not one to be a-doin' wot as he an' his mouseity self doesn't want ta be a-doin, as I'm sure ye're a well a-knowin, wot with you bein' a mouse-ity knowin' hare, an' a good one, at that, sah! Makes my ears ta stand up at attention like a badger-of-a-lady-or-a-bally-flippabloomin-lord was standin' in front of me at the gates of that good fort-os-a-mount Salamandaster-ee-on, wot! but I just can't make me mouse-of-a-lad cooper-a-mate like a good mate! Sticky as a paw-jammin', whisker-a-stickin bally blueberry pie-of-a-cake, like what those squirrel-of-a-lassies are a-bakin' at ruddy red Redwall Abb-ity every time a good-n-perilous, ready-to-the-battle long patrol-a-jigger strides on in as pround-n-pudding as ever, wot, that's me mouse-of-a-mate, wot wot!

Ye're a-welcome to try'im for yeself, though, good sah, an' my bally eartips an' tail-a-bob too ye if'n ye can succeed, wot! An' I'm-a-tellin' ye, sah, that's a true thankee from a jumpin-an-a-fightin hare-a-marm such as my bally self, wot!

[DemonSlavers]

 Ummmmmmm ok

[Morzan]

 ~whispers to his matey Badrang~

Bally old strange kiddies the pair of the scallywags will be having mate, flipping mouse and hare half and half, bit blooming over the top, wot?

[calria]

 Now then, sah, I wouldn't be a flippin-a-foolin' forgettin' as a bally good hare-of-a-marm doesn't have her floppin-a-dandy ears jsut on a-bally-counta how they looks. I'll be a-havin' your hind-and-head quarters next, wot!