Longbrush's Saga

Started by Dixie Ros?, August 30, 2003, 06:06:45 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Dixie Ros?

 The Promise (Prolauge/chapeter One)




Longbrush Dirgesong was a fox; a Seer, to be exact. Or a healer; no matter. Most Seers had healing skill. Well, anyway, it mattered not.
For she'd not be here much longer.

It started when she left the badlands. Why? To find her friend, the only one ever, an old Seer named Grisoul. Grisoul had taken her in, fed her, trained her, but now? She was gone. Longbrush had been captured by vermin and she was a slave and cook, not to mention a pillow to insult, to hurt, to beat.
No more.

Russty the Red, the captain of the horde, was out. She had a chance to free herself. No, no, she was not going to try to poison him, no. She was going to steal a weapon. She was going to kill herself.

Free then from whip and hurt, she'd be at the gates with her only friend.

Sliding into the tent, where the captain slept, she sorted through the things for a dagger. Finding one, she fled. She was going to Redwall.

Pausing at the gates, she stopped. Panting, she crawled into the ditch.

Tomorrow...

That night, she dreamt, of many things...

A mouse in armor, wielding a huge blade, told her:
"No! Take not your life, for you are still young! No! Your destiny lies not in death, no! Live! LIVE! Choose what is RIGHT!"

Then Grisoul flashed onto the screen of her mind?s eye.
"Longbrush... Remember what you promised me? That you would live long and become a great seer? Remember... The Promise.... The Promise.....


She awoke.

All she remembered was a voice, misty but familiar, whispering...The Promise...

"What?"

She wrote a death note:

See-What my kin has made me do?
See-What I'm teaching you?
See-It's not like lessons there's,
See-To trust them, do not dare.


She raised the blade to her neck.

No!

"I must..."

THE PROMISE!

"No..."

You must!

She pushed the blade to her throat.

But she missed. She forced the flat of the dagger onto her neck, choking her, and she fainted.

She awoke. A glowing figure stood before her.

He spoke.

"No, you must live, Longbrush of the Badlands! You must!"

He faded away, but a voice echoed...

"The promise!"

She rose.

"I...I'm alive? No...But...Grisoul...Who?"

A voice called.

"Martin. "

"Martin?"

She turned her eyes upward.

"Thank you, Martin."

She scrawled out the old words and wrote:

No-Never take your life.
No-Think about it twice.
No-Remember Promises made.
No-Throw away your hate!
No-Come to the light!
No-Answer is NOT death, but flight!



She heard footsteps. She was scared of what it could be, but her heart was lighter.



(DO NOT post untill the rest are up!! Okay?!)
user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"

Dixie Ros?

 Captured!



The pawsteps neared, and the fox shuddered. From dark paws to blue, blue eyes, she was scared; longtime slavery will do that to you, you know.

All fear, however, was for naught, for the approacher was only another fox.

She looked at the fox; their eyes met.

"Who are you?"

She uttered this in the most quiet voice anyone could ever hear, for she was used to getting yelled at for the softest sound, the lowest noise.

The fox she spoke to looked very different compared to a normal fox, indeed! She was pale white with silver fur where it should have been black, and her eyes were as violet as a flower. A contrast, however, one that startled Longbrush, was her forehead, for on it was a black moon shape! What a strange marking!

The other fox smiled and replied, "How do I know you won't give me back to my 'owner?'"

"I, too, was a slave."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I served under my adopted mother, Grisoul."

"Ahh! Then I am a friend of yours. Anyone who makes Ermath mad is a friend of mine!"

"Ermath...?"

"My trainer. I'm a Soothsayer. My name is Moonbane."

"Ahh, I see. I'm Longbrush. But I wonder, who 'owns' you?"

"No one, but Komar Rath seemed to like to think he did."

"I hate that."

"Yes, but I hate all evil vermin."

"You do? Where will we go?"

"Who said I wuz going with you?"

"Oh, sorry..."

"'Z okay, I'll go wiv yew."

"Where, though?"

"Not Redwall. They tossed me out twice!"

"Let's head for the mountains, I've heard of an underground dwelling where all get along, and vermin can be good!"

"Ohh, sounds really good!"

"Then let's go!"

So they went, traveling together, and, for the first time, Longbrush saw how she truly looked. Far was it from the ugly picture Russty's horde had drawn.

"My..."

She was tall, and limber, with pools of blue sea for eyes and dark markings on her paws and ears. Her grey dress was far from clean (but she washed it), and her face was very hollow. She scared herself just a little!

After a month or so, Komor Rath caught up with the two.

She and Moonbane were no match for the evil ferret. The last thing she knew, before she passed out, was Ermath's evil face.





(© Dixie R., M.S.G. W., Valor, Longbrush, all my charas.)
user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"

Dixie Ros?

 Rath's Sword Drill

The two awoke tied to a overhead tree. The camp was asleep, all save for Rath and another female ferret, who was arguing with him.

"Rath, you should let the two go!"

Rath shook him head.

"No, Razamakaz Rosebud, for if I do, I will look weak."

The female shook with rage.

"Then I no longer want to be your wife."

"So be it!"

He grabbed her and tied her to a tree.

"You'll be a fine quarry, for I wish to try new blade moves."

He motioned to the seers.

"They'll suffer the same fate."

Longbrush heard all of this and shuddered, but she could do nothing.

Later, when all the camp snoozed, a grey and shadowy figgure slipped into the camp.

Longbrush saw that it was a fox by its tail.

She paused by the two.

"Take these!"

She thrust a short sword into Longbrush's paws.

"Here. Now you have not to die at the cruel paws of Rath."

She gave one to Moonbane, as well.

Longbrush shifted the dagger in her paws, which were tied behind her back.

"I owe you my life."

The grey vixen paused.

"Not really," she replied.

She crept over to Rosebud and gave her a dagger before dashing away.

The next day came.

"I'm letting you go," lied Rath.

"Thank you!"

The two ran, keeping the daggers hidden.

Then he let Rosebud go.

"I'll gut you fools..." he muttered under his breath.

"Hoowah!" he shouted, and made chase after the three holding a longblade.

"Moonbane, look out!"

Moonbane ducked, and the two ran.

They were chased until they faced a wall.

"No!"

Rosebud jumped in front of the two, shouting,

"No, Rath!"

"Out of my way!"

"No!"

He raised his blade, and before she could cry out she was dead.

Moonbane and Longbrush raised the short swords.

"How did you get those?!"

"Why must you know?"

"Never mind!"

He struck the blades from the two's paws in one deft stroke.

"Go to hellgates!"

"Ahhhherarrara!" came a wild cry.

It was the grey vixen.

She swung down and knocked Rath over with her paws.

The two snached up the blades and the three vixens brought the blades down on him.

Rath's terror reign had ended.

But at a price.

"The poor ferret..."

"We best bury her."

"Yes, but take that dagger, she'll not need it in the dark forest."

"All right."

When they were done, Longbrush turned and saw the grey vixen.

"Hey...You!"

She turned.

"Yes?"

"You saved us!"

"I know."

"Wot's yer name?"

"Wolfhart. Monha Wolfhart."




(One more....)
user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"

Dixie Ros?

 Wolfhart

Longbrush nodded.

"Monha Wolfhart, I thank you with all my heart for saving us."

She shrugged.

"It'z nothing. I was just sick of Rath's cruel humor. What's yore name?"

Longbrush pulled a grim face, then opened her mouth.

"I'm Longbrush, Longbrush Dirgesong."

Monha looked thoughtful.

"Are you from ze badlands per chance?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

Monha smlied.

"You are tough stuff. Most o' us fall apart whenst Rath atacks."

"Oh."

She turned.

"Why don't you come with us?"

Monha sighed.

"Yea, I should. Where are you headed?"

"Up to the mountains."

"Yea, okay, I'll come along."

"Well, then let's go!"

Monha looked unsure...

"Would you mind if we stoped at my family's house..?"

Longbrush shook her head.

"No, not at all! After all, you saved us."

Monha grined.

"Thanks."

Moonbane stepped forth and offered her paw.

"I am Moonbane."

Monha took the paw and shook it.

"Pleesed to meet you, Moonbane."

"And I, you."

Monha cocked her head.

"Why are you wearing a scarf on your head?"

Longbrush hadn't notised that.

Moonbane replyed,

"Oh, just 'cos..."

Monha shrugged.

"Okay, whatever."

"Let's go."

"Umm, witch way?"

"East."

"Okay."

So they went, for a week or so, with only one rough spot, (Longbrush fell and twisted her left footpaw) untill they came apone Monha's den.

"I'm home, mum,"

Called Monha.

an old grey vixen turned from her baking, and looked at Monha.

"Oh! Monha! You're back! I missed you!"

"I missed YOU mum!"

"And who are these girls?"

Longbrush steped forward, and did a halfhazzerd curtsy.

"I am Miss Longbrush Dirgesong."

The old vixen nodded.

"Pleesed to meet you."

"And you."

Moonbane stepped foreward, to shake miss Wolfhart's paw, but a small youth fox, witch she assumed, (Corectly,) was Monha's brother, who was sitting on the table, gave the scarf she was wearing around her head, a good, hard tug.

The scarf fell away, and her forehead marking was plain to see, to the old vixen, (But not to Monha, she had her back turned away from her,) who yelled,

"Ahh! You! Out, get! Now!"

The old vixen picked up a broom and chased Moonbane, who by now was running, clutching her scarf to her head, out the door.

"Why did you do that!"

Yelled Longbrush.

"Yea, why!?"

The old vixen shook her head.

"I won't speak of it."

She mentioned to Monha.

"I need some berrys, go get me some."

"Yes mother."

"I'll go too."

"Thanks, dear."

So the two headed outside.

"Why'd ya think she drove Moonbane off?"

Monha shrugged.

"My mum is odd."

She said shortly.

Longbrush sighed.

"Old one's are like that."

The two came to the berry patch.

They chated as they picked them.

"Why doya think that ferret..Rosebud? Asked for you to be spared?"

"I'll ask Moonbane later. It was her horde afta' all..."

"Okay."

"What about that wall, the one we ran into?"

"Ahhh...I dunno. Me'n my bro' played there alot."

"So it'z really old?"

"Yea."

"Okay."

Finely, the basket where full.

"Let's head back..."

"Yea, let's."

So they did. They'd stayed out a lot longer then they hoped, but it was okay. So it seemed.

They got to the den. It...Was in utter ruin. A dead ferret lay by the doorway. The smell, no, stench, of blood reeked from the den. Longbrush's stumic turned, and Monha dropped the bucket of berrys and burst out crying.

"Mother? Mother!?"

She ran in. Longbrush fallowed.

Old Wolfhart lay over the table, a dagger in her chest. Her eyes where closed in eturnal rest.

"No..."

Monha lay her head down and cryed hystaricly.

Even Longbrush couldn't calm her, even when she noted that Monha's brother wasn't here.

Longbrush turned and slowly walked around. Tripping over a upturned bowl, she landed next to the body of a old female fox. She relized who it was in a instant. It was Ermath.

The body moved slightly.

She was still alive!

"Ermath, what have you done!?"

She practicly screamed this, and Monha lifted her head.

"Rath...He..Came...He..."

She panted.

"Tell me what you know about Grisoul's death, NOW!"

"I..Killed her....She...Was..Under a...Herb...I...Scitched a...Mark...Deathmark...Scared her...To...Dea--"

She was cut off as Monha switched the blade on her neck, she died instantly.

Monha stepped back in rage.

"Rath...Rath! I will hunt you like the dog you are!"

She turned and ran...Right into Moonbane. She wasn't wearing the scarf.

"Longbrush...I..Wanted to tell you--"

Monha cut her off.

"No need to tell! I see it on your forehead! You did this, didn't you!?"

"No..!"

"Then why don't you tell us what you are?!"

"I..."

She spoke what she had to say so quietly that only Monha could hear.

"I knew it! Now, say it louder so Longbrush can hear!"

"I..I'm..a..Mond'Stern Southsayer."

Monha had a look of hate, and triumph on her face.

-(--That's a-t fer now. Comments!)
user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"

The Lady Shael

 *applauds* Very well written, I like everyone's names, that's one of the attributes I believe really contributes to the successfulness of a fic, and most of the Redwall fics nowadays have the /weirdest/ and alien-ish names, some trying to be LotR characters, I suppose, with those Elf-ish names, and annoying apostrophes. They're just not Redwall-y.  
~The Lady Shael Varonne the Benevolent of the Southern Islands, First Empress of Mossflower Country, and Commandress of the Daughters of Delor

RWLers, your wish is my command...as long as it complies with the rules.


Dixie Ros?

 ::Blush:: I try.  Thank you for the comments.

I really like to make vermin names, 'cos they can be simple, (Moonbane, Longbrush, Etc.) or fancy (Komar), or in between.

Oh, here's some weird ones in this fic.. (Hey, they aren't THAT BAD! )Mond'Stern is not really that weird. Means Moon'Star in Germen. (Why Did  I tell you that? The coma is to make it seem more "Majical(You'll see.))

Chokato
Keaton F. Zel
Rupee T. Zin.

A few others..


user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"

Blackeyes

 Well written. Good Job. I will post my old story fo redwall.
Dark days are coming my friends....... oh yes we are in trouble....

Dixie Ros?

 In another topic, please.


Thanks!
user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"

Ashyra Nightwing

 Sorry for posting, but this story is coooool! And I see what Shael means about the names. Some just don't sound Redwalley these days... Your names are good!


Dixie Ros?

 *Is dizzy*

Um...*Blush* Thank you.



(And yea, do I know what ya mean. Hm...)
user posted image

 "I love you, Retto! And I don't even have a plushie fixation! Aren't you relieved?"
 "Sarah! That was so uncalled for! *grumbles in a threating way*"
"*huggles a Retto plushie secretively*"