Chuck Norris is your Grandmom.

[Ian2424]

The day has.... It's Chuck Norris Facts/Jokes!

[Rakefur]

    When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
   
   Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
   
   Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
 
   Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
   
   Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
   
   There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
   
   Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
   
   If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's butt.
 
   Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
 
   Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
   
   Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
   
   Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
 
   Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
   
   Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
   
   Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
 
   Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
   
   Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the poop out of it
 
   Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
   
   Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
   
   Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
 
   Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
 
   When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
   
   Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
   
   Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
   
   Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
   
   The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake
   
   Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
 
   Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
 
   Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
   
   Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
   
   A state trooper pulled Chuck Norris over the other day. Being a man who respects the law, Chuck let him off with a warning.

   Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He just stands there and dares the grass to grow.
   
   Chuck Norris once did steroids, and the pills got stronger.
   
   Chuck Norris is so intimidating even his reflection won't look back at him.
   
   The Greeks created the Olympics for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris created the Special Olympics for the rest of us.
   
   There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...........just people with short lives
   
   When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again...he's looking at you.
   
   Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
   
   Chuck Norris can punch his fist through trees and pull out pencils.
   
   Chuck Norris can sing a duet with himself.
 
   Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris
   
   When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
 
   When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
   
   Chuck Norris can drown a fish

   Chuck Norris can speak braille.
   
   Chuck Norris was to star in Mission: Impossible but they recasted because they would've had to change the name of the movie to Mission: Accomplished
   
   Chuck Norris is the only man to beat a brick wall at Tennis
   
   Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.
 
   Chuck Norris was once struck by lightning...Thats why lightning never strikes the same place twice...because Chuck Norris is looking for it...
   
   Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.

[Dark Claws]

Chuck Norris once roundhoused a guy so hard that he flew back in time and hit Amelia Earhart over the Pacific.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can email a roundhouse kick
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can't win. Winning implies the possibility of losing.
RWL Chuck Facts:
Chuck Norris killed the emp by looking at it.
Chuck Norris has no army. The games too scared to tell him he needs one
Chuck Norris has as much cash as he wants. It keeps on coming for fear of the consequences.
Chuck Norris became the emp and killed everyone with no land or troops
Chuck Norris gives loans to Cluny.

[Ian2424]

You all just copied and pasted those from the joke site. :P

[Camaclue]

Chuck Norris doesn't drop the bass
the bass falls in fear of Chuck Norris

[Ian2424]

Chuck Norris is your grandpa. And also your grandma. Chuck Norris also counted over infinity.

[Night Wolf]

jesus walks on water chuck norris walks on jesus

[Ian2424]

After God made Saturn, Chuck Norris fell in love with it. So he put a ring on it  :-*

[Krowdon]

Locked because Chuck Norris jokes are awful.