I knitted you a hat.

[AoU]

It is the most splediferous hat that was ever woven together lovingly. It will keep your head warm, your eyebrows dry, and your ears from freezing off. Failure to wear said hat may cause personal injury. Hat may cause personal injury. I accept no liability in the event that either of these events come to eventuality. That being said, said hat comes in various colours, styles, and above all, thread count! Don't you want to have the best one? The best one I knitted all for you? Only $9.95 and shipping and handling...
Shipping and handling charge of over 9000 may apply

[Firetooth]

Discounting the small print, that's very generous

[AoU]

You need it, I can't help that it takes that amount for shipping and handling.

[Night Wolf]

It is the most splediferous hat that was ever woven together lovingly. It will keep your head warm, your eyebrows dry, and your ears from freezing off. Failure to wear said hat may cause personal injury. Hat may cause personal injury. I accept no liability in the event that either of these events come to eventuality. That being said, said hat comes in various colours, styles, and above all, thread count! Don't you want to have the best one? The best one I knitted all for you? Only $9.95 and shipping and handling...
Shipping and handling charge of over 9000 may apply

Yon knitted me a hat!!!!1!!!111!!!

[prodiGee]

My hat has horns and is for raping and pillaging.