Messages

 With some experience in this field- seriously, I kid you not, I make these things on a regular basis, I can tell you this:

First, that boffers (the technical term for a such a safe weapon)  take anywhere from twenty minutes to two hours to build, depending on how complex you want to be and whether you have access to a sewing machine;

Second, that I wouldn't trust those 'Dagorhir' swords and that they're needlessly complex;

Third, that you can buy the materials you need for three good-sized swords for about $18 Canadian at any hardware store, with a side-trip to a fabric or used-clothing store (That's $4 US per sword, approximately);

Fourth, that I've made and tested such weapons- in fact, I gave a friend one for his birthday just yesterday and we went at it hammer and tongs;

Elaborating on point four: They're perfectly safe as long as you AVOID HEAD SHOTS LIKE THE PLAGUE. Other areas sting somewhat in the case of really hard shots, but that's about all. The only- minor- injuries yesterday were when someone- not me, in case you were wondering- accidentally smashed my friend's glasses against his face, causing a nosebleed, and when my friend caught me with a double-handed baseball swing across the side of the head. Slight soreness, there, but that's it.

My point is: These weapons are quite safe; they're cheap; they're easy to make; I can show you how; and I'd be happy to.

The boffer-smith and too-lazy-to-log-in:

Stormclaw

Edit: Dude, my PC logged me in. Is that cool or what?

 Calm, people, calm. Explosions are not good.

Well, not usually.

Well, not oft-

Um, let me re-state that. Screaming hissy-fit mud-fights are bad.

 Yup, 's'really my birthday. Thank ye.

 *wades through knee-deep mush to post*

Ahh, memories...

When we actually had a story for the game, as whipped up by me and Retto... ("You write the next bit!" "Argh, I don't have time!" "Fine, I'll do it...")

Working on Dark Empires coding... ("It's not WORKING. It says it's healing me, but my health stays the same. I'm going to scream." "Lemme see that.")

The night Dark Empires came out... ("Let's all lynch Retto! Lynch him I say!" *Retto is now known as DIEXEPHERDIE*)

Watching Shael's reaction to being requested to take the throne. That was funny.

And various crises, problems, difficulties, and other things too numerous to mention. Like the Australian Stalker-Brat, which I'm fairly sure none of you will find familiar. Or the Drunkard incident. That was amusing.

Well, here's to a year of Redwall: Warlords.

 *was also homeschooled*

Yes indeed. Homeschooled from grades 2 through 12. In university at 17. Life is good.

 *rises and beats Boze about the head with a care-bear*

Pistol-whip me, will you? I'll have you KATANA-SPORKED!

 'Scuse? I'm male. Yes. Guy. As in, not female. Right. Good.

 Run for your life!

Run!

Um, yeah. Hi. I'm Stormclaw, rarely-seen shadow-lurking Administrator-of-Doom. Or something like that anyway.

Welcome to the Warlords forums. The only advice I have from you- aside from "GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!"- would be... no, wait, that was it. These people are psycho, I tell you, psycho!

 And... you people are nuts. *has a sense of foreboding lurking over him* I will not look at the results of this poll. I will not look at the results of this poll. I will not look at the results of this poll...

 I can actually type quite well with my toes. I typed these two sentences that way.

nose-typing is fun, but you can't do capital letters. so i don't like it mch.

*switches from nose to fingers* Bah. I didn't press that last 'u' hard enough, it seems. So... for my next trick... I will attempt to type two coherent sentences with my lips!

tvhis is why it's good to have your own computer. it would beinterestinng to explain why i'm kissing my keyboard, eh??

So. Four errors ('v' in 'this', missing space between be and interesting, extra N in interesting, and a double-'?' at the end of the sentence) isn't bad. I suppose I ought to attempt the elbow, at least.

hre goes nothing... St0rmy is l33t body-typist. phe4r da 3vilweaseladmin! he r0xxors.

One error. And I even managed to pull off two keys that required me to hit shift with one elbow and the other key with the other elbow. What's so hard about elbow-typing?

 Purple is... not my color. No.

[Note: Ad said that, as an admin, I should set an example for everyone else. Well, here's the example I'm making today: Break the rules and there will be consequences. Capiche?]

 "The Mercenary"
RWL Forums
Iboze.com
The Internet


Dear Sir/Madame;

Congratulations! You have been chosen to join our elite program. We are the few! The proud! The utterly dense!

Due to your earlier posting on this forums, our agents, who ceaselessly look for this sort of thing, have determined that you are exceedingly well qualified for our program. We will, therefore, be shortly sending agents to collect you in order that you might join our starter colony on the far side of Mars. After a rigorous five-minute training video, you'll be transported to the Mars Outpost via the giant Colonization Atomic Non-Nanotechnology Orbital N-Gine (C.A.N.N.O.N.). Please dress warmly.

Once there, you will find yourself surrounded by kindred souls. Some of them drool, certainly, and others have been known to gibber, but that's not the point. I merely hope you are as 'attractive' and 'shapely' as you are stupid, since you will be in a place whose residents make all decisions about people based on how well they conform to the current arbitrary standard of attractiveness.

Wait, you should fit right in. They may even make you their king.

Not-so-sincerely,
Stormclaw
Presiding Genius and Founder of Mesna- the society for those who are smarter than 10% of the population.


Goodbye, Mercenary. You've got three days to read this, and then you're not just gagged, but banned.

Note: Ad said that, as an admin, I should set an example for everyone else. Well, here's the example I'm making today: Break the rules and there will be consequences. Capiche?

 Here's a bit of trivia for you- I'm the oldest of the original three admins, and I turn eighteen in just under three months.

 They can do what they want to Erin's neck, after they get through me. And Klamath. And probably everybody else on-staff.

One thing Madame Editor is very good at is engendering loyalty in her underlings.

EDIT: I dropped by the RFF and took a swing through the General Discussion board.

All I can say is, I can see why Erin might be persona non grata there. I do believe that I would be, as well.

 Hmm. Reading this topic, it would seem you guys would favor a return to the 'iron fist wrapped in a steel glove' style of administration.